The Birthday...

My bithday was the awesomo from beginning to last. I woke up to the one I love whom I hadn't seen since the beginning of February. That was probably better than best even though he woke me up @ 9 on a Saturday. (We'll have to work on that one babe) Then my daddy calls with the traditional "Happy Birthday to Spring" song. My day never starts til he calls me. *smile* I took him to the Bagel shop (a must do if you ever find yourself a guest in my humble abode) and I got me a delicious pepperoni pizza bagel and he got one as well.

My sister comes by after "breakfast" and offers to take me to Costco for some shopping debauchery (which mainly consisted of us pushing eachother around in those large ass shopping carts) and did a little sisterly bonding. It was the first time Kelli and Leslie met but they got along like they were friends the whole time, as far as (almost) in-laws go. We got into a minor tiff with the check out lady cause she was going through metopause or something so I turned on the annoyance dial up higher and took my sweet ass time. We left satisfied we had won the "customer is always right" battle. She took us back home with our gargantuan supplies. We saw my dad who was on his way to an AA meeting and my brother who had just bought me the only gift I truely wanted for my birthday. My MP3 player. Sometimes I half expect my family to always get me the wrong device other than the one I ask for but to my surprise, Ivan bought me the perfect one in red. *sigh* My brother is the best.

I downloaded 53 songs on that joint and it's r0x0rz.

After that we basically lied in bed all day and watched Eternal Sunshine since I hadn't seen it since then. Leslie's favorite as opposed to my favorite which is the notebook. It was a one of the truely better movies I've seen. Kate Winslet reminds me alot of myself in that movie and maybe I would go so far as to say Leslie reminds me of Jim Carrey. We mirror them in many ways but all in all the movie was kinda trippy. I reget I didn't get the whole feel cause falling asleep slobbering on Leslie was just too too tempting. Poor baby. *smirk* But I basically got the jist.

I finally started to get ready around 4ish cause I had to be up @ Kelli's by 6:30. She HATES it when I'm late. I start getting all dolled up in my pretty pretty fiftiesish dress. Fix my hair in a cute pony tail and get my bangs just so. I put on my favorite perfum in all the right places (not the crotch mind you cause alcohol burns your shit..haha). I put on my pretty watch that Ryan's mom had bought me when we were in the bahamas. I put on my cute black shoes that totally fit my little retro theme. They were perfect. I put my make up on with the thick black liner only on the top and some neutral shadow on my lids. I pretty maroonish lipstick and I was ready to go. Perfect. I was SUPPOSE to go get my nails done but I couldn't resist the "us" time so I had to settle for fake lee press-ons. I regret not wearing any jewelery but by that time were were like 10 minutes late already and I know Kelli was gonna have a conniption fit.


So we ran as fast as we could to hop on the train. And of course, it had to be broke down on one track so we'd be even later. I tend to get flustered alot so I broke out the MP3 player and me and Leslie banged my jams for a bit. We ended the train ride perfectly to The Way You Look Tonite by Eric Clapton and I Will Love You by Fisher (currently playing in the background) We hopped off the train and lucky for us Kelli wasn't all that pissed cause my dad called and was like 10 minutes behind us so the blame got put on him. She had to go to the store quickly anyways cause she didn't buy any candles for my cake. We scooped up the candles, scooped up the pops and got on our way to Tower Oaks Lodge for my birthday dinner. We arrived right on Indian time and checked in...Kina, Benz, Beans and Seneca were already there. We sat and a little later Joey and Roacha show up. We sit and chat and Kelli makes a toast thanking everyone for coming. In addition to the Marlbro cards, the dress, the MP3 player, I also recieved 2 bouquets of flowers, a subscription to cosmo, a really kewl swatch watch, and a pretty necklace that I wore with my dress. Awesome. After everyone was fat and happy we decided to call it a night and the "old" people went home whilst we finished our evening out drinking and laughing. It was a great night all in all and I couldn't ask for a better birthday. My sister is the best for planning it all. And everyone else for making me feel so loved. Maheo truely blessed my day and I know that turning 25 is gonna be one of the best things to ever happen to me. ;)

Ciao, Bailas.

Who says smoking cigarettes don't count for something?

Marlbro sent me a pack of cards for my birthday...how cool is that?!

Happy Birthday to ME!

It's raining and I need the day to go faster.

It's raining. I love the rain. But I don't when I can't enjoy
it. Being at work when it's raining sux cause I have to deliver
things in between buildings and I have no umbrella. :(
Right now I would love more than anything to be in my bed, covers up, listening to Miles Davis, lights off, candles lit, a glass of Merlot, and my
sweetie. Just like this...



*sigh*

The Red Lake Tragedy

A teenage high school student killed nine people, including his grandfather, and wounded more than a dozen others before turning the gun on himself in a shooting spree on the Red Lake Reservation in Minnesota on Monday."

http://www.indianz.com/News/2005/007147.asp

My heart goes out to those that have gone home to the Maheo, those that were injured and all their families. No one is promised tomorrow. So let us be thankful we were given one more day and live it as if today was our last.

Is it the way he loves me?

Something.

This morning started out okay for the most part. I wasn't at all upset that I had to go all the way back to the Big Hunt to pay for Ivan's stupid bill. Or that Ivan was too drunk to do anyone good. I don't wanna say I'm over getting drunk but lately watching him and then literally almost slapping the shit out of some girl on the metro cause she wouldn't wake up for shit. I'm like. Hmm...not so attractive all of a sudden. But besides all that. It was good. I called Leslie to tell him I love him cause he's in Orlando and I missed his calls last night. He tells me that his cousin wrecked his mom's car. Werd. That blows squirrel nuts. Still not so bad but kinda put a damper on my morning. Then I get to work and my sister sends me this SAD ass email about the really huge blowout she had with her husband. I've never seen my sister so upset and I friggen HATE when she's upset. Anyone else. Doesn't bother me. Her..she has/is/was my life and always will be. So on, so forth. That really put a damper on my morning. Then Jason IM's me and we exchange our usual witty banter. Not really...just loathesome, make me warm inside gheyness. Then he gets the call that the cousin almost died by OD'ing on meth. Werd. What a morning. :(

It's times like that when I really question why we're not together right now. My only excuse for being here is that A: Family B: My apt. My apt. is the only thing holding me back cause my lease is up at the end of June. So until then it's me and him flying back and forth for small moments in time. He's coming here Friday for my birthday. ;) He lands @ 11:55pm on Friday night and he'll probably be the first thing I see on my birthday. (12:00 AM Saturday 25th) It's funny that as the days get shorter...they get hell of alot slower. Pleh.

Oh yeah and Kelli found out that I knew about my "surprise" party. She was hella fucking pissed. As far as I knew Leslie was flying in the day after my birthday. But she wrongly assumed I knew about Leslie flying out to surprise me for my birthday. Then she was mad at herself for spilling the beans. So she just told me what would have happened had I not known a thing:

We were gonna arrive late and I was gonna see all my friends. (Surprise) Then he was going to come out with the waiter with a cake he baked himself and sing Happy Birthday to me.(surprise) :*} That would have been hella awesome. But oh well. What's meant to be will always be. I love that kid 2 death.

Dave & Buster's with Kevinege

There is nothing like spending a night with good friends.  This is

me and Kevin @ Dave & Busters last night.  I haven't hung with

him in like foreverz!  Since January I guess.  Kevin is just

one of those friends that I have nothing in common except we like to

dork it up and get all krunk.  His girlfriend Annie is also as

equally awesome.  I had a great time.  If I wasn't still in a

daze I'd write more.  But I guess the only hightlight is that we

got stuck in an elevator...first time for me.  We had to bust out

of that joint.  Luckily someone was a superman and pried tha doors

for us.  Werd 2 yo mutha.  haha..Later

duh nuh nuh nuh nuh nah...you say it's yur berfday...

Yep...that's right kids...25...OMGz.

As an Aries I think it's always my duty to officially announce to world that countdown that is my birthday. Just cause in real life I'm a huge brat and I want EVERYONE to notice me. It's my day. An important day. The day I was born. And people around me will worship accordingly or perish greatly! Muahaha. Every year for my birthday since I was five (except for some tomboy years) I've always gotten 2 things for my birthday. A pretty new dress and a kite. I really don't know what the kite is about. It's just one of those things that give me simple pleasure. Keeping with that kid like quality. But the dress...I try to spare no expense And is a must have.(i.e. have someone else pay for the joint...hahaha) and this year my dad stepped up to the plate for this one. I went to the phat girl store to find me something suitable and fashiony that was guarenteed to have my size. I looked all around and didn't particularly find anything that jumped out at me. And then my sister suggested a strapless number in either green or black. She told me to try it on for shits and giggles. So I do. I took one look in the mirror and I felt like a diva. This was it...the dress...in black. Of course...me having no money I ever so coyly asked my dad for a $100 dollar loan to which he gladly paid for it cause it was my birthday. (My dad is the best) So here's what the dress looks like.

&
I need protection from the elements!

Muahaha...so that's kewl. My love is going to buy me the shoe to complete the outfit and I'm gonna get my nails did and a pedicure. I can't wait!

So yeah...life is peachy keen today. Last night was kind of a bust cause we really didn't do anything. We went the obligatory native hang out Buffalo Billiards and had a few but it was just my usual krew. Patrick, Roacha, Hoshi, and a unusual appearance by my roomate Benji who's finally off house arrest. Woopie! It was fun. I got a little krunk on non-green beer and shot some pool with my bad ass skillz. It was an okay night I suppose.



I think I look a little drunk but oh well. Good times. ;)

St. Patty's Day and things to come...

I usually don't like celebrating holidays that have nothing to do with me. (I.E. Canada Day & Passover) but St. Patricks Day is just one of those fun holidays you just got to get into the spirit of if you're an alkie. Muahaha. I dunno what I'm going to do tonite..but I must sacrafice myself to the Alkie gods and drink some green beer somewhere. Somewhere...out there...beneathe the pale moon light...yes...green beer.

*popdorkpop*



Oh yeah...I'm turning 25 soon...whoopty fuckin do

Oh yeah...and I have the best geeks in the world as friends cause I found me a pirated copy of Oregon Trail. You know you rocked Oregon Trail back in the day! Muahahaha...fucking sweet!

Pretty blah day.

I had my weekly lunchery with my sister. We went to Fuddruckers and stuffed ourselves silly. Amber (my niece) is finally getting used to me. She's usually a devout momma's girl and needs mother in her site at all times or else she becomes Crabby Patty. I managed to get her to smile and laugh while mom got our food. Now if I could get her to stop frowning whenever she sees me. That would be a crowning achievement. I've been longing to hang out with my kiddies more often. I don't see them enough. Tristan still hasn't seen Limitty Snicketts(sp?) yet...it's playing in VA...maybe I'll kidnap himz. Boring post but whatevers.

OH YEAH!

Alan Jackson - Here in the Real Word
Alan Jackson - Don't Rock the Jukebox
Alan Jackson 0 A Lot About Livin (And a Little 'Bout Love)
Blackstreet - Blackstreet
Aerosmith - Just Push Play
CoCo Lee - Just No Other Way
Lenny Kravitz - 5
D'Angelo - Brown Sugar (whole album)
R. Kelly - R. Kelly
Reo Speedwagon - The Hits


10 Full Length CD for a fawkken dollar each. Now that's what I'm talkin about! I haven't been able to find CoCo Lee anywhere now a days without paying import prices so I was siced to find the whole freakin CD @ lunch @ the dollar CD store. I love that freakin store. Reo Speedwagon? Hell yes! HooWah! Alan Jacksons first 3 CD's for a dollar. Rock on! This totally made my morning.

Update:

I'm An Intern In New York

This is my new favortie blog. Fawking hillarious! Not native but I couldn't resist.

Just one of those days..

"I beatbox in the shower" ~ The Jo'est

Gawd dammat...that shit made me laugh so hard yesterday. Why? I have no clue why. The Jo'est is this crazy navajo chick in SLC. (That narrows it down tons right? hahaha) I love her. She's is witty, sarcastic and goofy. And I'll stop gushing there. Myspace rocks..that's all I'll say.

Being the moderator for Native Pride is soo much fun. I've got the power. It has it's ups and downs but overall I'm glad it's just another boring messageboard people never come to... Especially now that I'm doing Native Prider of the week. That rocks sox. People seem to enjoy it so we'll see how far that goes. I love when people announce that their leaving. I don't really know what the point of that is but whatever. One lady wrote me her life story and when I agreed to disagreed on a couple of points...She gets all crybaby on me and gives me this scenario of a tragic event in her past. She was like you don't know what that feels like. I was like "just because I'm 24 doesn't mean I've never had to deal with that situation. I've done it...twice thank you. The difference between me and you is that I'm not a victim. I don't blame others for my problems or hide behind what was "taken" from me. I take responsiblity for what I had a hand in doing and it seriously doesn't bother me. People have no control over me or my feelings. And for you to let a handful of teenagers victimize you is your biz. "No one can make you feel inferior without your consent" ~ Elenor Roosevelt You're 48...Grow up." /rant

Something...

Oh yeah. And I'm going to Gathering of Nations this year. Hooray! I hope Stephanie goes cause i miss her ass already. I should set up a myspace meet. That would be a hoot. hahaha. Werd. OH YEAH! Aaaaaaaand...I get to meet the ex while I'm there...good effin times. I can't wait for that one. She doesn't know about me. Fun Fun Fun.

As always...Such is life and I am blessed.

They dun fuckt up now...

Tell me why the job from hell has to be close to some bomb ass shopping that I could never leave! AND to top it all off...they put a freakin Target like a block away from where I work...in the middle of a freakin city...the middle...it's weird...but I'm in totally freakin love. Me and my sister Kelli went today. It's so well hidden that there were probably 20 customers in there...and its so new...that whatever you could possibly want in the toy aisle is still probably there. Complete heaven...

A quick note about me and Kelli...I know that she is my soul mate and we travel the universe together if only to fucking laugh at everything. All we have to do is look at each other and we can read each other's thoughts. That and we can fucking laugh like no other at nothing and everything and even the stupidest shit in the world. That's just us...it's a gift and a curse. I'm sure even her 17 month old is embarressed to be seen with us sometimes because we can make a scene. Hookers sweat in church...We fucking burst into laughter. We can't sit together in church what so ever. Catholic Churches don't like us...

So case in point, as we started our wayward journey through the virgin target and the first aisle happens to be cards. Engagement cards, St. Patrick Day cards, Thank you cards and of course the tried and true birthday cards. Seeing as how my love's birthday was yesterday she was like...dude...I should totally get Jason a joke card. I was like YEAH! Get him something with Ponies on it that says For a special little girl. We snicker a little and that was it...its on from there. It seemed every card we picked up was like THEE perfect funny card ever. We found Barbie cards, Disney cards, For Female cards and so on. Every card was funnier than the last. I was choking on the air. I couldn't breathe. I'm sure by now your waiting for some great punch line or lead up but I got nothing...Why we found any of those dumb cards hillarious, I'm sure I can't remember. But we did settle for a card in the shape of a pink poodle head with googly eyes that said to the perfect princess. Classic. If he doesn't love it, too bad, cause we did. Muahahaha...I felt sorry for Amber her 17 month old...She managed to tune us out and amuse her self for the 10 minutes it took us to calm down from laughing. I love my sister.

WHICH REMINDS ME!

My other sibling has decided to come home back to D.C. By some miricle my 29 year old brother...my favorite brother is moving back to D.C. from New Orleans. I'm fuzzy on the reasons but I'm extatic! I love him. If he wasn't so much of a drunk he would be my idol. Shit...he still is. The kewlest artist I know. When Him, I and Kelli get together...fucking magic happens I swear. Like really odd shit...I'm sure you'll hear about soon enough. He'll be here on Sunday. I can't effin wait. ;)



I love you Iv!

Enough of the Ghey stuff...

This right cheeeyah cracked me the fuck up. I hope to be that bored someday! Gah!

(Time and Post-it notes)

click the link!

Happy Birthday, My love...

Happy Birthday to a son with beautiful eyes.
Happy Birthday to the man who owns my heart.
Happy Birthday to the being within my love lies.
and the one I'll pledge...death do us part.


A year ago I could have never imagined loving someone so much but I do. And honestly, if anyone would have told me a year ago that one day I would be marry you for real, I would have laughed them out of the city. I don't know exactly how or why we happened. I don't know out of all the people in dc you could have contacted last year in January you happened to picked me. How could we have possibly known when we met what we rejoice in now. Our love for each other. And to think all it took was a sign language serande in a cab in Vegas. It may have taken a while for my mind to catch up with my heart but I'm sure you'll agree we were worth the wait.



Happy Birthday, Leslie. I hope the past year has been one of your best cause I know the year to come will be even better. I love you and I can't wait to see you again in a few weeks, my love. All I want for my birthday is you.

Sick for the trillionth time? Heck yesssss.....

This morning I woke up to the sound of a ringing telephone. Six thirty in the effin morning. Any other person calls me that early will have exactly 10 seconds to give me sufficient reason why I should not have their nipples removed promptly from their body. Fortunately, it was Jason, giving me a wake up call, wishing me a pleasant day and a quick reminder that, yes, in fact, he does love me. Probably one of my better mornings I believe. He’s nipples will stay.

And despite my outwardly appearance, I'm slowly but surely coming out of this crappy seasonal depression. I’ve been sick 4 times during so with maybe 2 weeks of “healthy” in between. How can I tell I’m coming out then? I actually paid my bills which I’ve been avoiding for about 2 months now. My cell phone bill has been off for a freakin month. Not only cause I just didn’t want to but because I couldn’t afford the damn thing. $578.53. pleh. It's not that I talk a lot...anyone who has ever had a convo with me knows I don't call anyone often ever. But apparently being the smert one that I am I don't have nation-wide long distance and when I went to Atlanta/Las Vegas/Florida I ran up quite a pretty bill as you can tell. And if it wasn't for my tax return and my bonus that would never have been paid. So much for extra money. :{P

I’m sick again. I’m at work. Its raining…nay…I take that back snowing now. I feel like physical crap. God shoot me now.

It was a beautiful 70 degrees outside yesterday. Even with the wind in my face it felt awesome. One of the best days I’ve felt (weather wise) all year. I even went to dinner with my good friend Leigh and we went to Chipotle. We gossiped about our lives and I let her in on the little secret that was my fianc?. I missed her. There was also something about yesterday and last night in particular that I was just certain I would run into him whom I’ve been avoiding for going on 3 years now? Damn. 3 years. How I manage to run into this guy at the fucking most random places I have no clue. If anyone who can recall me mentioning now and then “the French guy” here and there, he is who I’m referring. But yes, every three months I can “feel” him coming. And as I got my root beer pop from the machine I was like “Leigh, watch this…This French Guy is going to come and find me…I haven’t seen him in 3 months and somehow he always manages to find me” And sure enough as I was in mid-story he walks up behind me and proceeds to give me a hug and kiss on each cheek. Why I feign being happy to see him…I have no clue. He stays awhile to grill me as to why I’m hiding out and I never call (I haven’t called him in 2 ? years! Get a clue!) and when we’ll hang out again. I tell him my phone is off (cause thank god right then it was) and he’ll have to write me an email. We exchange email and he continues on his little French way.

Leigh just laughs at me. I tell her the whole story of back in my much younger mind state days we dated briefly. Why? Who the fuck knows! He’s obviously much older than me. He’s a tad shorter than me. He has bad European teeth and bleh…I dunno. God I still don’t. And even scarier still I specifically stopped dating him because it freaked me out that I actually liked him. Wonders never cease. I believe that people are put in your life for a reason. If they keep coming back it’s because you have something unresolved with them and if you don’t fix in this life you’ll deal with it in the next. Until you get it right. Pleh…I’ll get it right someday, perhaps…right now it still just creeps me out.

Dreams do come true...

The Chevelle concert rawked like no other last night....that's all I have to say. Oh yeah...Love it....More laters...

(Click here for more pix)

Soo......

I have a Tres' boring layout because I can't find a layout that suits me or is "my style". So until then...I'm just gonna mess with this ish...bleh...boring...

BEGIN RANT:
I've gained 12 freakin pounds in the past 2 months. WTF. Why? This is the biggest I've been ever. I can't be like this. I can't do this. This is sick and unnecessary. I feel like I don't eat that much. But obviously not the case. I don't feel depressed but people that know me the best and I don't have to put my shining smile on for constantly ask me whats wrong. I don't feel like anything is wrong. Everything in my life is okay. It's not tip top. I dunno maybe I've been in depressino denial. hahaha...just as I was writing this...my sister sends me this...

The Oprah Boot Camp Commitment


Like she was reading my thoughts that girl. I swear we were suppose to be twins.

That's beside the point. Point is...I'm tired of being overweight. I've been overweight ever since I was 19. When I was 17 I was 5'7" and 150. Not uber skinny (like I like) but not in the least what I would consider fat. :\ Then I moved to dc, had a full time boyfriend that I lived with for 4 years and we ate out all the damn time. And now...now I'm just this. A 5'8" 212 lbs woman. A beautiful Native American woman that can do and is capable of so much more. If only she'd stick to a commitment. Am I ready to do it? Am I willing to do it? Do I value myself and my life that much to just say...Damn it...Spring your turning 25...you've been saying you'd lose weight since you turned 20...so when are you gonna start?

When...

/end rant

Love is consuming me...

"Unless it's mad, passionate,
Extraordinary love,
It's a waste of your time.
There are too many mediocre things in life
Love shouldn't be one of them."

From the movie Dream for an Insomniac

Everyday that I wake up and accept that Jason is a part of my life for good I find myself wanting to make myself guilty or dumb for not knowing or seeing it sooner. I just can't quite describe the what exactly he is for me. He just is. And I can be as ghey as I want and not give a crap or be embarrassed about how I show my affection for him. Public displays of affection are of no consequense. Sending him little gay love quotes over offline messanger so that when he opens it up its the first thing he sees in the morning...I know he'd never get tired of it. The overcompelling urge to say I love you right away cause he said it and you can't hold it in cause of how loved you feel. Feeling like you'll burst if you don't express it just right then. Dispising the distance because he lives in Wyoming and I live in Washington D.C. but falling in love with him all over because he took off two weeks to fly out here just to be with me for my birthday. Just so he could spoil me. So we can take that walk around D.C. all night long and just talk about everything and nothing. So that we can lay around in bed all day spooning and laughing.

I could never deny his love for me. I could never question how faithful his heart. He would never cheat on me because his momma taught him how to respect women. And I know he trusts me...if only for the mere fact I'm now on his life insurance...LOL *shifty eyed plotting* Muahahaha....God I love this boat.