Monday, February 13

First blog of the new year...

Don't ask me why I'm journaling in this thing...I don't even like hi-5 haha...I only come here to "stalk" the people that are too good to be on myspace. *LOL* Yey...I'm ghey. (JOIN MYSPACE.COM!!!!)

Other than that...Life is completely wonderful these days. My recently aquired boyfriend has managed to quickly eek his way into my heart and I can say with a true conscience there isn't anything I wouldn't do for him. Not that he would ask. He is completely amazing. Everyday that I spend with him (Which has been everyday for 2 weeks) is wonderful. We compliment each other in so many ways and we're completely (and VERY surprisingly) compatible in many others. I love him to death. I couldn't ask for a better boyfriend if I tried. We talk about things and we laugh about a lot more.

I dunno. It just feels like finally I can be myself and on top of that he ADORES me because I am who I am. We like the same music. We both enjoy a little darker side of life. We can turn each other on like no other. We can just be and god just being is like the best thing ever. *le sigh*

So for anyone that actually took the time to read this...thank you. Right now I'm contemplating something that might drop a lot of jaws. (No not babies or marriage...that's not for a LOOOOONG time...believe me) We were toying around with the idea of moving in together. I know it may seem soon but I think not only could it benefit us both...it could work. Getting a bigger apartment. And no I'm not pondering this for the benefits...although it does seem nice.

Its easy for me to get irritated when someone is taking up too much of my space. He's been in my space basically everyday for 2 weeks now. I still have yet to get tired of him. I love waking up to him every morning. I love him kissing me all over my face before he goes to work @ 5 in the morning. I fucking even love cooking for him and IF you know me...I don't fucking cook for anyone. For some reason...I can't help but want to for him. I do a lot of things for him, I find that I was resisting to doing for anyone because I didn't feel worthy to ask for what I really wanted or just out of sheer pride. I'm an independant woman after all...

There are so many things about Bane that just make me so content with myself...and all at the same time...be the best me I can be. He worships my body with absolute sincerity its mind-blowing. And sometimes when I look at him...He's just the most incredily sexy thing on this planet and I can't help but admit...I am indeed the luckiest girl in the world. Lucky to have someone who loves me so completely. Lucky to love someone that appricates the greatness that I am now. Lucky to have someone to call home about and brag about. Lucky to have someone that makes me smile and sends butterflies to my stomach with a mere phrase or gesture.

I love Bane. That's the only context I can put this in. Again for however long it lasts...I'm committed to making it last a lifetime. I no longer have delusions of grandeur. I have a reality that I created and that I am creating now. In the end, I want the best and I deserve the best and as of this moment...he's all those things and more. So perhaps a move is in our future. I would probably stay in my own building now and apply for a 1 bedroom. We still have a lot to talk about with regards to this issue because we wanna be responsible about it...as with all the major decisions in our lives. We're not just going, omg we're in love...lets move in and stuff. That's ghey. We got to make sure this is what we really REALLY want and its not going to happen tomorrow. So yeah. Something.

As for now...my only problem with this is...is that I really don't have a problem with it. Life is too short and we do what we gotta do. To base this decision out of fear...would be a detriment to our possibility. We are the possibility of love...in in that...fear does not exist...

Yeah something...Thank you again for reading this. ;)