Thirsday...

What are some of the things you would not share with anyone, no matter what?

There isn't a whole lot that I wouldn't share in the world. If I hated you and I had an STD. I'd share that with you. I'm just generous in that way. When I first thought of that thought I had to laugh to myself. I ame forever amusing myself with the stupid/nerd/wicked/sick/retarded/just plain dum things I can think of on the spot. Stuff that only makes me laugh and 90% of the time my sister. But besides those two people. I'm just plain weird. In all honesty, no I couldn't share an std even if I had one. I couldn't stab someone unless they threatened my family. (So I suppose that means I could share a stab) I couldn't give someone AIDS. No Matter what. I think that would be about the only thing I can think of. I'm sure there are more profound answers to this question. But I like to put my mind on cruise control and see where it takes me. Which reminds me of a quote that reminds me of myself. (hahahahaha). Wanna read it? Here it go:

"Reality is a nice place, but I wouldn't want to live there"

Yep that sums me up in a nutshell. Until next time kids, Ciao, baila.

what I am greatful for today...

1. Free DNB mp3's. I love me some DNB
2. Finding my credit card. Woo hoo. Cha-Ching!
3. 1800flowers.com. *Get well soon, Lisa!*
4. My little Maya Angelou quotes of the dae.
5. New York City. *sigh* I'll see you again.

Thirdsday Ran dum

HOW TO KEEP A HEALTHY LEVEL OF INSANITY AND DRIVE OTHER PEOPLE NUTS!!
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Page yourself over the intercom. (Don't disguise your voice)

Put your garbage can on your desk and label it 'IN'.

Find out where your boss shops and buy exactly the same outfits.

Always wear them one day after your boss (This is especially effective if your boss is the opposite gender.)

In the memo field of all your paychecks, write 'for sexual favors'.

Put decaf in the coffee maker for 3 weeks. Once everyone has gotten over their caffeine addictions, switch to espresso.

Send e-mail to the rest of the company to tell them what you're doing.
For example: 'If anyone needs me, I'll be in the bathroom.'

While sitting at your desk, soak your fingers in Palmolive.

Put mosquito netting around your cubicle.

Insist that your e-mail address be zena_goddess_of_fire@companyname.com, as in mail to: zena_goddess_of_fire@companyname.com

Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they want fries with that.

Suggest that the Coke machine be filled with beer.

Encourage your colleagues to join you in a little synchronized chair dancing.

Determine how many cups of coffee is 'too many'.

Develop an unnatural fear of staplers.

For a relaxing break, get away from it all in the fish tank with a mask and snorkel. If no one notices, ditch the snorkel and see how many fish you can catch in your mouth.

Send e-mail messages that advertise free pizza, doughnuts, etc.,
in the breakroom. When people complain that there was nothing there,
lean back, rub your stomach, and say, "You've got to be faster than that."

When driving colleagues around, insist on keeping your car's windshield wipers running during all weather conditions to keep 'em tuned up.

Reply to everything someone says with, "That's what you think."

Practice making fax and modem noises.

Highlight irrelevant information in scientific papers, then cc them to your boss.

Finish all your sentences with "in accordance with the prophecy."

Adjust the tint on your monitor so that the brightness level lights up the entire working area. Insist to others that you like it that way.

Dont use any punctuation

As often as possible, skip rather than walk.

Ask people what sex they are.

While making presentations, occasionally bob your head like a parakeet.

At lunch time, sit in your parked car and point a hair dryer at passing cars to see if they slow down.

Specify that your drive-through order is 'to go'.

Stomp on plastic ketchup packets.

Holler random numbers while someone is counting.

Honk and wave at strangers.

Decline to be seated at a restaurant, then eat the complimentary mints by the cash register.

TYPE ONLY IN UPPERCASE.

type only in lowercase.

Mumble to coworkers. When they ask, "What did you say?", reply "Never mind. It's gone now."

Sing along at the opera.

Go to a poetry recital and ask why the poems don't rhyme.

Five days in advance, tell your friends you can't attend their party
Because you're not in the mood.

And the final way to annoy people:
Send this post to everyone in your address book, even if they
Sent it to you or have asked you not to send them stuff like this.