Lip Rings, Foam & Broken Glass....

That was the story of my night. In a nutshell.

I spent an obscene amount of money on stupid face jewlery and I swear I was possesed when I bought the shit cause only two of what I bought I actually like. Go me.

All I wanted to do last night was dance. My pal wanted to hang out cause he had nothing betta to do so we did. He went to Nation with me. So I got there a little late for open bar and since I paid my effin $15 bucks to get in...I was going to get my money back in drinks and then some. haha 8 cran and vodka's later I finally get on the dance floor. If my friend wasn't sending me tha boredum vibes I would have tore it up but alas...

so in between the vodka and dancing I was getting a little tired and the night was still young. Not wanting to give up totally on my quest to make the most of what I had I saw the doors to the outside were open. So I told my pal...lets go mang.

So we go and Guess what I see...

FOAM!

NIGHT SAVED! I immediately jump in and get my ass all soapy foam wet and it was great. Even my friend had fun! I thought it would be damn near impossible for that to happen. We danced for about an hour and then called it quits cause there is only so many bubbles I can breathe in and not get sick. So quitting while we were ahead....we head home.

That is when...we saw his window. Broken in. Stereo...stolen. I was like um...babe...your window is missing dear. He didn't drink a lick so I thought his head was going to splode. I managed to convice him to file a report despite it not doing anyone any good. The police came took the report and that was that. The guy managed to cut himself pretty good cause there was a considerable amount of blood. Karma Karma Karma. C'est la vie.

Well Well Wow

I just got through watching Big Fish for the first time. It was a really great movie. I really didn't know what I was expecting or what I wanted to take away from it. All I know is that it inspired me to think about this particular moment in my life. It made me realize something about my life that I probably wouldn't have though of any other way. That's what I love so much about movies. Movies are a catalyst for the way I believe I want my life to be.

Big Fish, as animated and beautiful as it was, made me think of the events that have happened in these past few weeks. All the ways I've been feeling and perhaps a validation for the way that I feel. One of the events that I have been pondering is one that I don't regret but makes me sad inside. This weekend I had to let down a guy that in all essence should be perfect for me. He's smart, intelligent, funny, attractive and he's a great great mentor and motivator. He came up to DC just to see me. And I didn't realize until it was already done. And he told me how he felt and how he feels about me to my amazement and in all honestly discontent. Maybe what he offered could've been good. And maybe I could have considered it. But it wasn't romantic. It wasn't the way I dreamed a moment like that would come. He told me in the throws of drunkness that he loved me and that he wanted to fall in love with me. At that moment I was speechless. I was sadend throughout because no matter heartfelt it was, no matter how true and real, how could he expect me to accept such an offer and actually take into my life like it meant something.

I just broke up an 8 year friendship cause I can't stand alcholics and alcholic men in my life. I'm through and done with it. That's why I've been single for so long. Cause I don't want that or anything to do with a relaionship like that. I don't want any of it. I left that life back in Idaho and Oklahoma only for it to follow me here? I left all that I knew and the people I loved to find something better than myself, to find myself and my own way. What's right for Spring and what makes Spring happy in this world.

I have finally started feeling something for someone. A person unbeknownst to me but who gives me butterflies in my stomache again and makes me smile like no other. He's not my type and he is so not what I would probably pick for myself had I not become so smitten so fast. There is an Aries for you, always failing to look before you leap. All I know is that even though we don't talk everyday or have even met. We feel so much and it's awesome and great and perfect with all it's tiny imperfections. Like a dream. Like a movie. He makes me feel beautiful despite myself. And calms my worries just by saying so. I don't know what I did to deserve such blinded affection. All I know is that I am blinded by my affection for him.

So with that, and all things being considered now now have a chance to meet. In two weeks, during Labor Day, I am going to Long Island New York. To meet the man-child that has all so clumsily stolen my heart. The Shinnecock Pow-wow is going on at that time so he has oh so generously agreed to let me stay at his house in the Hamptons. I had no clue when I first met him that he lived in the Hamptons because that seems totally unreal and makes me laugh at myself. How the heck did I snare a boy from the Hamptons? The world may never know.

In the mean time, I had to let down the man that should be my ideal. Why? Cause of all the things that are perfect about him, he hides the courage he easily gives others from himself and inside a bottle. He had not the courage to ever say this sober and for that I can't. I love him and I always will. But for now it can never be. I'm not ready to give up my life again to move back to a place that has no oppertunity for me. No more than I can ask him to move out here just so we can get to know eachother the way we should have in the 8 months that we've known eachother. That's just not my way. Plus, Im too young and cute to be anyones mom. *AYE* (he has a 9 month old)

So now, I'll buck up and be the adventureous Aries. Swallow my pride and meet this guy that I probably have a chance in hell with. A guy I have nothing in common with and not even on the same plane with. Why? Cause it's crazy. And I'm crazy. And life is crazy and without moments like these...how would be know we are alive. Those who take the biggest risks, get the biggest rewards. And those with nothing to lose have everything to gain. That's the way I've been living my life and that's the way I will continue to do so.

Such is my life and it is blessed.

You know your are a dork when...

Little shit like this makes you uber happy...

Him: I think it's about time I started running around like a moron and doing all the things I should have started a week ago dear. But, know that I'll be thinkin about you while I'm away.
Me: Aight. Well have a great night and weekend if I don't get to chat with you later.
Me: Good luck on not hooking up with the trannies tonite
Me: :-D
Him: I make no promises.
Him: I mean...
Him: Take care dear

Yeah...I'm totally freakin smitten...and I love it. (Can you say e-tard?)

I gave my panties to a nerd

That how I feel today. I feel like I'm Samantha and this is the day from hell. It just feels blah.



I need to find my Jake Ryan! The person that makes me feel beautiful, sexy and loved just to be around them. And have them feel the same way about me. As much as I want him, I suppose I'll have to wait. I need to get back into school first and become a geek. *rawr*

While I was thinking about it I though I would do my very belated check in with my new year's resolutions. *tee hee*
Beginning of the year I was I was going to:

1. Learn to become the kick-ass skier I know I really am.
2. Learn to become the kick-ass guitar player I know I really am.
3. Learn to become the bad-ass golfer I know I really am.
4. Actually utilize my Gym membership.
5. Spend more time with my little brothers.
6. Stay single for an entire year. (NO MORE PRETTY BOYS!!!!)
7. Appriciate myself more the my accomplishments.
8. Earn at least 12 credits this year. (ha ha ha)
9. Telling all the co-dependants in my life to flick off and do it yourself once in a while.
10. Smoke only 185 days this year instead of all 365.
11. Stop smokin' da crack pipe.
12. Not forget anyone's birthday.
13. Fly myself to Hawaii for my Birthday.
14. Get my milkshake to bring all the boys to the yard.
15. Not give a damn about what the price of rice in china is.

Now I am...

1. Waiting til the new skii season...Go me.
2. Guitar...what guitar....must make some calls.
3. Bad Ass Golfer...Maybe golden tee...perhaps I'll makes some calls.
4. Just cancelled. I have my own mini-gym @ home.
5. Haven't seen them yet. I need to badly.
6. Well I've managed that so far. Single with a crush...hopeless romantic.
7. Hmm...what have I accomplished this year...oh yeah...my own place *pat on back*
8. Again...I will say ha ha ha....
9. Hey I did it for Roach and look where she is now. Her own place too. *pat on back*
10. yeah...cutting down as we speak...*lights up another*
11. This was just a metaphor for get a fuckin life. I have a nice one so far.
12. I don't think I did. Everyone got a call or a card or comments.
13. Didn't do that....maybe I'll buy the ticket this year for next year.
14. Well if you count my avatar then go me.
15. Yeah...i still working on not sweating the small stuff.

What I would like to do before the end of the year:

1. At least pick a school and get enrolled.
2. Pay my fees to get my licence back.
3. Learn to effin drive stick. I'm 24 for Ingalls sake.
4. Accept the hopeless romantic that I am and love myself for being so.
5. Quit drinkin and smoking to pay for the trip to Hawaii.

We'll see how it goes.

Guess who called me last night?

I know you are going to think I am a psychopath skitzo but it's true. Why the fuck else would I say it?




I know right now your either saying...that ugly fucker, or what the fuckever or bullshit...

BUT alas, I don't care, it did and I am mad thrilled.

How could such an event happen?

My brother who has the dumbest fucking luck meeting celebs works @ the Hustlers Club down in New Orleans. He works the late night shift and during there shift rotations he works VIP. So alas, my brother is not one to be shy...and knowing at the one time I had a crush on this fool, has Vin Say hello to me on the phone. All I could say was omg...I love you...you are...OMG...I love you...He laughed and was like your brother is one cool dude. And I said thanks for the call and even talking to me...your awesome and he was like no problem, now you take care and handed the phone back to my brother. I love/hate my brother. I've been having trouble with insomnia lately and that phone call didn't help things. Suffice to say...I was on cloud nine. Still am.

Last night, I got to hang with one of my bestest buds in the EAST...Pacito. We went to go see AVP. (I'll get to that review in a second) I missed that little guy so bad. He is the true nerd to my dork. I can tell that guy anything and he me. I know there are at lest 4 people that can really invoke thoughts into my psyche. 1# my Numi, 2# my fucker, #3 Benji, and #4 Paco. They are all like my gurus with Numi being my social, Fucker being my practical/clarity, Benji being my logical, and paco more like emotional. After AVP, we went to his place and chilled for a sec and then he walked me home. We had a good talk about this and that. His love interest and mine. How I try so hard to be hard and tough when I'm just a softie romantic that wants the romance. It doesn't give me pleasure in admitting that its true. Inherently, I know that which I'm sure everyone does. But it's really hard for me to admit. And when I become smitten with someone...I'm gone. So suffice to say we had a great conversation and a great night. I wouldn't have seen AVP with anyone else in the world and it's great having him back. Hopefully we'll hang out again soon.

AVP: While I will admit the cinematography was most excellent and better than I thought it would come out, the one hundred and thirty minutes of PG-13ness was irrevokably sad. Who ever composed such dialouge needs to be shot. It wasn't even original. "The enemy of my enemy is my friend? (Grasshoppa)" Give me a break. It was Mystery Science Theater up in that piece. I've never laughed so hard in my life. The only thing that was lacking that I thought would have made a great addition to the overall theme would have either 1. a kiss or 2. at least a high five! C'mon! Can I get a high five please? At the end, I was so waiting for him to break out with..."You got the juice now..." (And can a bitch a friggin ride please? Thanx)

Anyways, back to my hole...Ciao Bailas.

Randum shit...like whoa...or whatever.

Speaking of which, I heard that they are showing a re-make/re-did/whatever the fuck of Donnie Darko. Inserting scenes that were left out so the movie would make more sense. Tight ass. My dad saw it in New York this past weekend and was telling me about it. So if I can't find it around town then I'm am so going to New York this weekend. Donnie Darko and the NYC, tyte ass. I miss that damn city. ~if only for the pizza~

Certain cities have certain feels to them that I just friggin miss. Chicago just seems so sophisticated and old. I like Chicago in the winter. It's beautiful. The second time I ever went to Chicago I went by myself. The company I was working for always had a Christmas party that was not to be missed and they actually paid for me to go! It was insane. They had a kewl dj and kareoke, the Dinner buffet was off the chain and something I've never seen. ( I didn't realize food was THAT pretty) Then I made friends with some interns they took me around the city despite me not having a fake ID (I was 19 at the time). I had a good time but this dude kinda go mad cause we didn't bone. (I'm like yeah right poin dexter)

This one lady even took me to see a show downtown. A Tuna Christmas...that shit was hillarious. Finding my way home was even more hillarious. They just had a fucking blizzard up there and the bus lines only go so far at night. So I ended up walking cause downtown there was not a cab to be had. So lucky for me my ex's sister lived there and helped me find home. I walke 8 blocks in fucking heals and a skirt in the snow after the bus stopped short of just where I needed to be. Now that's something to tell the kids. (when I was your age...I walked blah blah blah in the snow)

Ah Chicago. It's not as showy or glizy like the NYC but It'll do. It has a real jazzy feel that I can't get enough of. Chicago almost feels like Paris but not quite. Paris always is and always will be my first love.

Anyways...brain droppings of the day.

Today I feel like writing so yey!

Yesterday was a weird day. Well I guess the past 24 hours.
(This maybe long so if you read it god speed)


*some names witheld to protect the innocent and incredibly sexy*

I had stayed up the night before chatting on the net til the break of dawn and didn't get any sleep before I went to work. There is no good rational for staying up all night when I had to work. I, for some odd reason, just felt compelled to talk to my friends on the net, especially one in particular and loved every minute. I oddly was never really tired. I never yawned or felt the urgent need to sleep. I just kept chatting and smiling incredibly hard and laughing so loud I probably woke up my dad a couple times.

One member of my insane chat posse (ICP, yeah, son!) made me smile and blush so profusely it was ridiculous. (Thanx again for keeping me up, sugar and don't forget dinner is on me, aight) One kept making me laugh so hard you think I was high. (Tashie <3's Cowboys! Yee-haw! *LOL*) One was getting tipsy and sending me E-Cape Cods. (Next time lets get tipsy together, m'kay. *LOL*) One kept askin for my pink taco. (it's in the mail, homie...) One was in desperate need of porn cause they were horny. (it's in the mail, homie...lol...<3 u Chick!) And the other must have thought I was dead crazy because he kept tellin me to go to bed. I was like "In a minute...I will...Seriously...in a minute" (You know I heart you...I heart you alot.).

All in all it was a great night I didn't want to end but I had to get ready for work. The good thing about staying up all night is that I was finally up early enough to eat breakfast. That was a major plus. I even ironed my clothes! *Wow!* (cause if you know me I'm hella lazy and make my friends do it) I took a shower, ate my breakfast, took my Xenedrine (to help me stay awake) and I left early cause I knew I needed a Mocha Frappe majorly and a Red Bull. (not a fan of red bull but when you're desprate, you're desprate)

Made it to work and it wasn't all that bad. Thankfully, my job is seriously low maintenence and doesn't require me to operate heavy machinery. That helped alot. I did my upmost not to bite anyone's head off. Even though SOMEONE was effin plucking my last nerve cause they were jealous and acting childish. I made it through the day okay and interestingly still not tired. James wanted to celebrate the birth of her new god-baby. (Congrats, JAMES!) So you know how we do...We gotta celebrate!

So after work she picks me up and we go to Ruby Tuesdays cause they got the "buy one get one for 1 cent" drafts (It's a good deal when its not happy hour) and James and Lyds were hungry as hell. We stayed there for a couple and then went to Champs to finish out happy hour. I was still doing fine but I was beginning to run on fumes. Kina wanted to play me on the Golden Tee so we do. I was kickin ass. Then Kina switched out and I played Benji for a bit. And everything was going fine...still doing fine despite the obvious lack of sleep. That is until I completely missed the controller ball and jammed my hand into the machine. I don't know why I held off from crying. I held it in and tried so hard not to cry. Well that was the worst made decision in the world cause holding it in + Lack of sleep + about 5 or so beers = Me VERY all of a sudden depressed. And I began to be really depressed about stupid shit and un-necessary things.

So in my new found depression I had to make a phone call. To who? I had no clue. I didn't wanna call my numi in state I was in. So I tried to call my brother. He didn't answer and that made me all the more depressed. So there I was, using a friends phone, didn't have any one to talk to and I didn't want to bring down the party so I smoked a cig and went inside. I pouted to Benji cause I thought I was ass out on the drunken depressed call to friends until I realized he had Satan's #. (Yey, I was saved!) So I call Satan of all people and she listens to me rant for I don't know how long about this, that and the other. I just ranted and ranted til I got it off my chest. And after listening to me til I cant rant anymore, she begins tells me whats on her mind. Listening to her made me feel better. Alot better. Depression magically disappeared and I was back to the me of things. (I love you Satan)

Next on the list is going to Lesbian night @ Apex. I had to go home and get out of my girlie clothes (I was way to cutesty like a school marm) and get into some dancing clothes cause I fully intended to rip up the floor. Some members of our party wanted to ziff on a spliff while I changed so they did. (Thanx for opening the window fuckers!) I was too gone for make up so we left for the club and had an excellent time. Lyds bought me some Mickey Deez cause I needed to come down off the drunk tank. And despite a little drama from the chics we met up with. I had a great time. I even got home @ 12 (Yey early enough for me to get SOME sleep). They dropped me off and I got into my bed attire. And as soon as my head it the pillow, I was out.

So that was my day. Nothing especially out of the ordinary but it still "felt" weird. I purpoly left out the drama cause I ain't havin it. I'm glad I made it alive and I'm glad that I was able to hang enough to enjoy the special times with my friends. Thanx for everyone that helped me out last night. Lyds I owe you one. One day on those rare occasions that my brain remembers that I don't smoke pot so it shouldn't kirk out on me like that I will call you for lunchtime debauchery.

LATE!

Jesus, I am teh Ghey!

Spring in love?

Jesus I hope not! But I am developing the hugest crush on my myspace buddy Erick. The love hate relationship I have with myspace (mostly love) I've gotten to know this incredible dork who effin lights up my world with a simple hi. Why? I have to freakin clue! It's so outside of me I can't begin to comprehend. Why is it worthy of mention? Cause I freakin stayed up all night long just to talk to him about nothing. He's so freakin great its ridiculous. We have a couple things in common. Like being former twins that lost the sib at birth. (that was interesting) We aspire to be professional nerds. We're both crazy enough about each other to effin be e-tards and stay up all night long to chat. I helped him hook up his myspace profile so it wouldn't be plain. (Yes I am a freaking computer reject!) I think we're just infatuated with the fact that we're infatuated. Which is kewl. Cause I really don't mind at all adoring someone and being adored. At least we got the Aries/Leo combo working for us. Too bad/Lucky for me, he's in a different area code cause if I ever really met him in real life...I would probably pee my pants and run away. ;P

Click Here if ya want to be nosey.

The computer people at work are finally comming around to the realization that myspace is addicting. (I got a couple co-workers hooked..tee hee) Yeah. So I may get booted from that site soon. That'll suck big time cause then I'll actually be bored! I dunno. It's just crazy.

Other than my infatutation life is just peachy keen. Made my rent on time! (Sweet!) I actually have furniture. I need a T.V. but it keeps me reading cause I have so much frickin spare time. Currently reading Digital Fortress by Dan Brown. I effin love Dan Brown books. (If you haven't read Angels and Demons and/or DaVinci Code get on it!) They all rawk.

Besides all of that...

How y'all doing?

That's the state of the world today...

Dude I'm on an elevated alert

Go me.

Yeyness, DC is on elevated alert. Someone wants to put a bomb in my neighborhood. Nice. At first I was really frightened. I felt like someone just punched me in the lung and I lost my breath for a second. Then I came back to reality. While I does make me think...it really doesn't change anything does it. I mean it's always a possiblity and always will be a possibility that terrorist are going to bomb my little city. And that's what I accepted when I came back here to be with my family. Knowing and being close to my family everyday is worth more to me than being anywhere else in the world. Seeing my neice get taller and taking my nephew to Orioles games is fucking money in the bank. That's food for my soul. Being neighbors with my dad and sharing our stories together. Making eachother laugh. Just being close in general is worth more to me than anyone could ever give me. And I won't give that up. I love my family. And so I very happily choose to go on with life. Nothing will change for me. I just pray that god keep me.

In other news, Life is still grand and I'm taking things day by day. My new apt. is RAD to the bone. I love it. My family is healthy and happy. And everythang is alright. Right on.

I'm comming back to the light side (blogspot). Myspace is wearing me out. (But I love it!) I have the hugest infatuation with this almost 21 year old guy from NY. He is such an effin cutie! I love it. He's great and makes me smile the biggest cheesiest smiles. *le sigh*

Anyways, click below for some laughs. See y'all around. :)

Click here to know what it means to really bring the mosh!

Five things I'm greatful for today:

1. Costco and the crates of water.
2. My best friend getting a new car.
3. Maheo's blessings on me and my loved ones.
4. Free gum.
5. Money in the bank.