Where the heck have I been?

create your own personalized map of the USA
or write about it on the open travel guide






create your personalized map of europe
or write about it on the open travel guide

Yeppers! 49 States, France, Germany, Switzerland and Austria. Not bad, eh?

If your bored...lemme know where yooou have been, eh?

Public adoration for the couple I <3 the most!

Congradulations, my loves. You guys made it! The first year is over and done with.

Numi, my little sister, I'm so proud of you for all that you've done thus far and all that you continue to do. You are an awesome Mom and couldn't have picked a better father for your children. Peter, I love you and even though I don't quite express it all the time. I wouldn't want any other brother in the whole wide world, not for a billion dollaz (maybe a trillion, Aye!). Plus, you are so much fun to pick on and razz. (you know you love it!)

You two have truely been an inspiration to me and watching the love you guys have for each other makes me wanna cry sometimes. (and actually makes me wanna barf on occasion) Seriously though, I don't know what I'd do without you two. The both of you. Well the four of you. You guys are the best because you have given me the most beautiful niece and craziest/funniest/dorkiest nephew I could ever possibly ask for. I know it hasn't always been easy for you guys but you sure do make it seem that way. You guys make it look fun.

So here's to the next year and many more after that. May the creator/Maheo/God continue to bless you both...

~*~Happy Anniversary, Kids!~*~

I love you guys!

When they first got engaged

What a freaky couple...

My beautiful nephew

My beautiful niece

me and my numi on her wedding day!


*If you would like to send out your well wishes please send them to Dangerous Angel by clicking here.

Mvto!

Spring aka Joigazm

Back to being the dork that is me.

Fuck, I'm a fucking dumbass. I had to...I was in a trance. It was an out of body experience. Like it wasn't even me....WTF? Yeah I'm a dork. And I love this movie for sentimental reasons...

You know that song "Breakfast at Tiffany's by Deep Blue Something....?

"And I said "What about Breakfast at Tiffany's?"
She said "I think I remember the film..."

If it said what about The Warriors...yeah that's totally my mom and dad. They used to watch that movie ova and over. I love it cause I love my parents. They're cute like that. (if you're confused again, yes my parents are divorced and are still best friends and are still so cute together)

Anyways...I went on to buy the movie/soundtrack/and they are making a game based on the film to come out in August. I'm like...pfffffffffffffffffffffffffft...WTF, kids!? It's so on....







If you would like to join in the dorkness that is moi...by all means...go to http://warriorsmovie.co.uk/

Thank you for the 5 seconds you'll never get back. :D

A beautiful day...

I took the day off today because I was really tired and drained. I needed the day off to refocus my energies and myself as well. I didn't really think twice this morning about calling in like I usually do. Today was just a day to sit at home and rest and conversate with my sister Roach.

We talked alot about our spiritualites and alot about the people we are. I mostly needed to get off my chest and focused on where I am now because of all this change in my life. I'm not afraid of it. Usually, I would be. With the death of my mom and the death of my daughther. I have a strong urge and need to one myself with everything in my life. My new apartment being somewhat at the forefront of it all. I'm finally moving out on my own. Into the real world. With a real job and a real space of my own. Not shared by roommates. Mine. For me, getting this apartment means so much and is a testiment to where I am in my life.

I've come so far from being that selfish/selfless little girl that was tied down to obligations in the family so much so that it hindered my wellbeing. People always felt a need to protect me and to baby me and take care of me and I in return felt obligated to take care of everyone's kids cause I was single and had no "real" obligations.

I'm finally comming into not having to rely or ask everyone to help me out with my life. (although that will never cease cause everyone needs a little help now and then) But the key word being rely. I'm finally comming into being able to trust myself and not judge myself so harshly for the person I was/am. I am who I am. I'm becomming more responsible and self-reliant by the day and that means so much to me and makes me proud of myself for comming so far.

I'm sure there will be challenges that will face me because I've made this declaration of myself but it's only a test to see how badly I do want this. After I get through this, the next challenge will be school cause that's the only thing I've been really shifty about. I've let all my opportunties go to hell and now I'm at the bottom for that. (My GPA is lower than anyone wants to acknowledge)

Anyway that's neither here nor there.

I am where I am which is where I am suppose to be. I have my friends that I learn so much from in the day to day. And I love them all. I tend to attract turtle people in my life. Everyone one of my friends in my immediate circle that I cherish daily are turtle people. I think that's kewl. (Turtle people are the burden bearers, spiritualist and connectors to the earth)

Blah blah blah. So that's where my day is.

Talking with Roch about all this made me feel peaceful and at one with all that's going on around me. So today is a great day. I would get all NDN and say "Today is a good day to die" but I'm not ready yet. It is but is soo not my time to go. There is so much on this earth I was meant to accomplish that when it's fianally all over, I know I will have live a fullfilled life and have no regrets. My journey here has only just begun and I am at one.

In the arms of the angels you fly....

Today started as anyother day. But from the beginning I new it was a different one. Today is the celebration of my mothers life. The day she was born. Like any great daughter I forgot. *typical* I had decided to wait and call her later during lunch so I put it off til then. Then around 12 I started to feel very tired and weary. I took my lunch but tired to sleep but it was no use. I was restless and as soon as I closed my eyes it seemed I started having a chaotic dream. One where the world was literally turned upside down. Even asleep I wasn't asleep. I just watched the everyone and tried to hold on and be strong. When I came back to my desk I got another one of those phone calls. The same phone call like had recieved only the week before.

As in alot of other cultures, when children are born in a family everyone is family. Cousins are new mothers and fathers. Aunts are also new grandparents. When your cousins have children they are also your children. My cousins whom I grew up with are my brothers and sisters. The closest one being my cousin Rachael who is onlly 3 months younger than I and also my cousin Ryan who is 4 years younger. They are my siblings and I love them as dearly as I love my biological brothers and sister.

My numi, Kelli called me and when she was finally able to eek it out I could hardly breath. One of my little ones was gone. Our little Ashlyn had passed away. Today was the day she had decided to take her journey. It was finally her time to move on from this life.

I have been there for everyone of my nieces and nephews births. I was there the first day she was born. When Ashlyn was born it was an exciting event as they all are. I remember being in the hospital and everyone being so excited. The brand new Aunties and Uncles and my Aunt being the most excited of all. When Ash was born she was so beautiful. I cried cause I'm a sap for the miricle of life. She didn't cry very much but when she did it was so cute cause it was just this sweet little wail. She was the first female grandchild. The new ndn princess was born. :D

The next day, we got some intersting news. It seemed our Ashlyn was special in more ways then one. She had been born with an extra chromizome. A condition called Trisomy 18. A condition that hardly ever goes to term but comming from the strong family that she does, she did. When Trisomy babies are born they are given a life expectancy of 2 weeks to 3 months. Anything pasted that is a miricle and of course not unheard of. Ashlyn was strong and she gave us amazing joy for four years. To me there is nothing more amazing in my life than that. She was truely a blessing and blessed each and everyone of us. She was always happy. She always had a smile. She had her fathers eyes and her mothers eyelashes. I always remember her most for her little dances that she loved to do. That little chick loved to shake her booty! She loved music. And she was loved very much by everyone who knew her.

~*~Ashlyn Rose Wallace~*~
~*~December 4, 1999 ~ June 14, 2004~*~

My little one I love you.

Thank you for being in our lives and choosing us as a family.

In your four short years, you taught us what it is to be happy everyday.

How to smile everyday cause life is short.

I will grieve for you cause I miss you.

Cause you were so strong and so silly & happy.

But I will also be joyous for you are now once again whole & without pain.

You will never beforgotten.

Our Angel in life.

Now our Angel forever.

Take care my love.

On to the creator you fly.

Here are some pics I took this morning...







Nancy

Yeah it was raining the whole time. But I got some good black and white from Paco's camera. We'll see how it turns out.

Anyways, (singing) I got my apt. I got my apt. (/singing) And i get to move in next week. How far am I moving? Straight down the hall. Am I excited? Hell yes. Finally, a place all to myself. No curfew, no one to bother, and most importantly, no one to bother me! Yey!

Have a great weekend Dudes, Kittens and bambinos.

Ciao.

Randum Thoz...

I don't know what I'm thinking or what the hell I'm feeling. I'm tired. I'm in a silly mood. Too much to think about.
________________________________

Some would consider themselve lucky to live where I live. Ronald Regan is having his stay here in our nations capital for the next few days. It opens up at 9 to the public. I don't know if I wanna go. I should go. I mean not many people are afforded this opportunity. I live literally less than a mile a way. I should. But I don't feel like it. Not right now anyway.
________________________________

I need to clean my room so badly it sux. I have too many clothes. Still trying my hardest to simplify. there are just too many old letters/trinkets/etc. to let go of. Who keeps porcelin N'Sync bobblehead dolls that are still in the box that I bought at the dollar store as a joke really?

________________________________

Oh yeah...I ran in to an old aqaintence a couple days ago. A The french guy that I dated on and off for about 3 months and dropped like a bad habit last year. No goodbye. No returned calls. Nada. He saw me on the street and recognized me. He was like "Spring! How you been? How es everything?" I was like fine and all the while thinking to myself. shitfuckfuckfuckshitfuckshit. I didn't know what to do. It was really awkward. Especially since he was being so nice to me. I was like wtf? Yeah that'll happen a couple more times cause now he's for sure going to blow up my phone. What a fucking retard.

________________________________

Lord help me. I need to finallly get back to my website and fix it up all purdy like. It's been down forever. I'm just a lazy ass with dial up and no creative thought.

Forget that...I'm creative. Just lazy.

Someday I'll stop.

________________________________

Yeah...I have more and they'll come when they come. As for now. I will go.

Ciao, Bailas.

Updated music list for 06/07/04-06/13/-04

The Scientist - Coldplay
You Get what you give - New Radicals
Crucifixion - Alex Bach
Breakdown Here - Julie Roberts
Float On - Modest Mouse <---actual download right click.

For Mom:

*Disclaimer: In case you are wondering and not that it matters but my dad is gay. I'm just letting you know, in case you didn't, so you're not confused*

This is a dedication to my fathers ex-boyfriend that for a while was apart of the family. I recently got the news he has since passed and this is for him as well as me. Thank you. ;)

I know you can hear me

Yesterday while I was cleaning, I found some old cards of mine that I kept over the years and was contemplating throwing them out. The first one I saw happened to be from you and my dad after I graduated from my Life training class, saying you were proud of me. The other was from Christmas time wishing me well and missing me. Seeing them made me remember what I had heard a only two days before. That when tears began to fall. You had lived out your happy life and had fulfilled your life's purpose. You were on to your next journey.

I remember when I first heard the news I was shocked. Then quickly put on my brave face/voice for my father cause I know he had been crying so much already. It pained him to say the words that you were gone. But I listened. No exactly knowing what to say or how to feel. Then I immediately thought of my sister, knowing she was closest to you of all of us right then. And I knew she needed me now as much as ever. When she answered she didn't have to speak nor did I. I just listened to her weeps and tears. Still not knowing what to say. Still holding back my own grief and sorrow. Unwilling to let myself be sad. Finally, when I let her go, I looked to my right and saw the Chinese Calligraphy you got for me in my names from China. Both in Kate and Katie cause they didn't have Spring. Right then I couldn't help but let it out. Right then, I let myself cry.

I haven't cried much since then, although I'm crying right now. Cause I miss you more than I ever realized. I never knew it would hurt this much. It does. It hurts cause I did love you and I really do care. I was just too selfish and stubborn like my father to show it. We didn't even say goodbye when you two broke up. We just let it wander and drift away like a raft out to sea. Which seemed to be fine for the both of us.

I don't do regrets. So I'm not going to regret anything I did or didn't do. I just miss you now. And it hurts that you are gone. I know you are watching over all of us. And even though not in the physical, you will watch Amba and Tris grow up. Whenever I am faced with a tough choice like fighting for the better job, more money or doing something that makes me happy. I'll think of you and what you would tell me. "Don't settle. Life is too short to settle, Miss Spring"

You never settled. You spent your money on the best of everything cause that's what you knew you deserved. You are an inspiration of why you should live life to the fullest. I think that's what I'll remember most.

I only wish to live at least have half the life you lived. And see a third of the places you have been. I'm still young so I think I can make it happen. Forget that. I will make it happen. ;) So in lieu of regrets I will do rememberences. And keep the good memories with me.

I remeber the first time we met...
How shy you were at meeting me. And we went to Bucca's for dinner. It was my Dad's birthday. You were quiet yet still managed to smile. I'm glad you were there. It was a fun night.

I remember the first time I knew you were a part of my family...
My father, You, my Numi and me all went to go see The Divine Secrets of the Yah Yah Sisterhood. My sister called you mom by accident but it fit. And you were stuck with it. Soccer Mom. *LOL* We had a great time that night.

I remember that...
You never left me out. But we were never that close cause we're stubborn. I knew you loved me and I loved you. We had good times.

I remember when you...
Let me drive your mercedes when you first got it. Dad about had a heart attack but you let me take it around the block with the top down. I was pimp for 5 minutes. It was awesome.

I remember when we...
Had a blast at Kelli's wedding. You were so helpful and made everything possible. Kelli had the best wedding that anyone one of us could have hoped for. And it would have never happened because of you. You got to meet my real mom and you too seemed to get along just fine. I'm happy she dragged you with them when they did the parent introductions. You deserved to be there just as much as my father and real mom. You were "mom".

I'm most remember you for...
Being an example of what it takes to get what you want out of life and how to be a success. You lossed all the weight. You became a independantly wealthy with your own business. And you finally got the mercedes you dreamed of your whole life. You suceeded and thrived. You made your life happen and lived your life to the fullest to the very end. I'm glad you were apart of my life.

~*~R.I.P. Micheal "Mom" Davis~*~

What do I always do when I lack creativity...

Give you the survey's! yey!


? · I N F O R M A T I O N · ? ·
Name: Spring
Single or taken: Single for life! (OMG hope not!)
Sex: Female
Birthday: March 26
Sign: Aries baby, yeah!
Siblings: 4 Brahs and 1 numi(lil sis)
Hair color: reddish light brown
Eye color: Brown
Height: 5'8"

· ? · F A S H I O N | S T U F F · ? ·
Where is your favorite place to shop: H&M/Old Navy
Any tattoos or piercings: Lip *old* getting redone.

· ? · S P E C I F I C S · ? ·
Do you do drugs?: nicotine and alcohol
What kind of shampoo do you use?: Garnier Nutrisse or Citre' Shine
What are you most scared of?: The Dark
What are you listening to right now? Some Swell.Chemistry
Who is the last person that called you?: Shelly
Where do you want to get married?: Um...Mountains in Idaho
How many buddies are online right now?: on yahoo 8
What would you change about yourself?: My flabby arms.

· ? · F A V O R I T E S · ? ·
Color: blue and purple (buises!)
Food: YOu know it teh frybret
Boys names: Ayo (my clan)/Aiden
Girls names: Jaden <---to be changed...
Subjects in school: Science, yo!
Animals: Loja's (turtles)

· ? · H A V E | Y O U | E V E R · ? ·
Given anyone a bath? Yup.
Smoked?: Yup
Bungee jumped?: Not yet
Made yourself throw up?: nope
Skinny dipped?: a trillion times
Ever been in love?: 3 times but the 1st one is debatable
Made yourself cry to get out of trouble? Heck yeah
Pictured your crush naked?: Oh yeah
Cried when someone died?: Of course
Lied: Of course
Fallen for your best friend?: We'll he's my bf now.
Been rejected?: Nope
Rejected someone?: Unfortunately
Used someone?: I'm an Aries
Done something you regret?: Not really.

· ? · C U R R E N T · ? ·
Clothes: Pink sweater/striped blouse, long black skirt, loafers.
Music: Incubus
Make-up: M.A.C. baby but mostly covergirl
Annoyance: HATERS!
Smell: The icebox
Desktop picture: My grandparents during HS in love
Book you're reading: Just finished Angels and Demons by Dan Brown <---trippy
CD in player: Mixtape from Lisa
DVD in player: Pretty in Pink

· ? · L A S T | P E R S O N · ? ·
Hugged: Benji
You imed: Wally from Swell.Chemistry
You yelled at: Benji
You kissed: My niece Amba

· ? · A R E | Y O U · ? ·
Understanding: Y
Open-minded: Y
Arrogant: Y
Insecure: Y
Random: I don't know am I?
Hungry: Niet
Smart: More like intelligent
Moody: Yep
Hard working: Hardly
Organized: No way
Healthy: to to be
Shy: for the first 5 minutes
Difficult: when we've hung out for 8 years yeah
Attractive: Hell Yeah!
Bored easily: Too easily
Responsible: i try ha ha
Obsessed: Niet
Angry: Not at the moment
Sad: kinda
Happy: For the most part
Hyper: Only around other goofies
Trusting: too easily

· ? · W H O | D O | Y O U | W A N N A · ? ·
Kill?: No one
Slap: People who don't slap me comments! Jokes.
Get really wasted with?: Pebbles...that would be funny!
Get high with: Ha ha...I know it'll NEVER happen but Pebbles again. *just say no kids*
Talk to offline: Amba cause she's kewl as haites!
Talk to online: Brian cause he's funny as hell
Sex it up with: Micheal Greyeyes in Dance Me Outside/Selma Hayek *rowr*

· ? · R A N D O M · ? ·
In the morning I am: Cleaning my room/excercising/internet
Love is: Giving up your last piece of licorice.
Sexual preference: Trisexual/Metrosexual ha ha
What do you notice first in the sex you're into: How they started the conversation off.

· ? · W H I C H | I S | B E T T E R · ? ·
Coke or Pepsi: Coke
Flowers or candy: Flowers/Iris'.
Tall or short: Tall

· ? · D O | Y O U | E V E R · ? ·
Sit on the internet all night waiting for that someone special to im you?: Paco once.
Save conversations: When there good
Wish you were a member of the opposite sex?: Sometimes.
Wish you were younger: 17 maybe
Cry because someone said something to you?: I'm a drama queen. Sue me.

· ? · N U M B E R · ? ·
Of guys I've kissed: about 27?
Of girls I've kissed: 5
Of CD's I own: 253.
Of scars on my body: 6.
Of things that I regret: Nothing

· ? · Y O U R | T H O U G H T S · ? ·
I know: I am a crazy dorkwad.
I want: hot secks.
I have: a great haircut.
I wish: I won the lottery.
I hate: Haters...lol!
I fear: the Dark and being a disappointment
I hear: Nirvana calling.
I search: my room for my stupid IHS badge!
I wonder: When I'll wake up from this dream called life.

Don't pee on my leg...

And tell me it's raining.

I don't need it.

Ha ha. This weekend was a looong one! I can't believe it. I'm very very glad that it's only a four day week.

How many of you remembered your moment of silence @ 3 est? I didn't I forgot. But then again I was watching a movie and was quiet so does that count? :)

Friday was crazy as usual. Drunk times. No Drama. Saturday...just hanging out and playing some pool and darts with friends. Sunday, Lounging around/watched Lord of the Rings "Return of the King" for the millionth time. (That movie always gets to me.) Monday. Just hung out with my sister. She's goopy.

Nothing too exciting. Cept, I may be getting my own apartment next month. IN the same building no less! No more living with my father. And no having to live with roomates. And I don't have to leave the neighborhood I've come to love and adore! It's great! I love it. Pray for me that it works out guys!

Moving on...

I've come to the realization that I need to do an incredible amout of simplifying. I have to much junk and clutter. I'm a pack rat and a junk junkie. O hord all kinds of inane objects in the hope of holding on to some distant memories past. Old movie stubs, plane tickets, N'sync bobblehead dolls, my beanie baby collection in a box, Clothes that I convice myself I will wear when I am "skinny". Tons upon Tons of crap. Just laying on my room. Cause I'm lazy. I'm a lazy woman. Tonight my goal is to start simplifying. Clutter doesn't define me or make me who I am. Trinkets don't hold all the love a person has for me just cause I possess it. I am a willing and able person to do this...I deserves this. God knows I deserve a simple happy carefree so I can find my damn keys in the morning without shaking down the place life. Let's see how much I think I really do deserve this. My goal is to have it done by the end of the week.

Ciao Bailas,