Dear Santa letter

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Dear Santa,

I have been a good Girl.

It really wasn't my fault what happened at Kina's Christmas party. It was Roach who spiked the punch with too much Tequila. I can't help it if I drank 9 glasses. It was so good---smelled and tasted just like Burberry Brit.

I thought it was funny when I put Stephanie's bra on my head and danced the lambada on the couch while singing `Dancing with myself'. I didn't mean to break Kina's vibrator and don't know why Kina would sue me for Public Indicency.

I don't remember calling Benji's wife a big pony---even though she looked like one with red eye shadow and pink lipstick!

And when I threw up on Kelli's husband's arm, it was only because I ate too much of that taquito.

After all that fun, I admit I was a little tired. So I fell asleep on my way home and drove my Pontiac GTO through my neighbor's basement. I don't think that was any reason for my neighbor to call me a whipped cat and have me arrested for public drunkeness!

So, Santa...here I sit in my jail cell on Christmas Eve, all beasty and smelly. And I'm really not to blame for any of this dirty stuff. Please bring me what I want the most---bail money!

Sincerely and slowly yours,
Spring (Really a nice Girl!)

P.S. It's only 20 bucks!