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Friday, November 28
Why, why, why...
Why do I torture myself? WHY!
I was going thru my site trying to clean out somethings and I came across my tribute to my ex-boy from a little while back, Mr. Man. You know just to see if I really wanted to keep it up or not since we don't and probably will never talk to him again. I've already begun to erase his old emails that he sent me way back in the day. Useless shyt. Hi and by sexy stuff. And since I have a link to his yahoo profile on this tribute page I decided to see if perchance he had updated it. And, lucky me, he did. He's doing great in Vancouver, joining the Police Dept and all that plus he has a new girlfriend that loves him and is sane. Fabulous! I'm happy as happy can be for him because he deserves to be in a great relationship. And just to hear that he's loved is great to know. At least he's out there enjoying his life. I'm satisfied.
Of course, there is that very tiny small insignificant part of me that is very painfully sad. Why? Who knows why. Because I love him? Yeah sure. I do love him but I always new that on the most basic level we were not meant for each other. He was just to good for me in my mind and I still to this day don't know what he saw in me. Do I still think about him? Yeah I do. I just can't place my finger on why I feel so much for someone that I know loved me on some level but would never put down his guard to let anyone in. I dunno, maybe I did make to much of things. I made him out to be bigger than what he was...(pause) I put him sooo high on a pedastal, I could never reach him.
WHY THE FUCK AM I SAD ABOUT THIS? We went out for all of a month and talked on and off for 2 years, barely. I truely was and am happy for Benji and Ryan when they moved on. Why can't I JUST be happy for him. I really am very upset to where I'm doing my damn best not to cry at work about this. Trying to not let this little tiny insignificant part of me that is pained overwhelm me. Why does it affect me when it didn't affect me for them. (It did a little for Ryan but for other reasons)
I just don't know...For now, I'm going to go crawl in a ball in the corner and listen to my sad music. WHY? Maybe I'll figure it out. Until then...adieu and just in case you're wondering, I'll be okay, so don't worry about me.
I was going thru my site trying to clean out somethings and I came across my tribute to my ex-boy from a little while back, Mr. Man. You know just to see if I really wanted to keep it up or not since we don't and probably will never talk to him again. I've already begun to erase his old emails that he sent me way back in the day. Useless shyt. Hi and by sexy stuff. And since I have a link to his yahoo profile on this tribute page I decided to see if perchance he had updated it. And, lucky me, he did. He's doing great in Vancouver, joining the Police Dept and all that plus he has a new girlfriend that loves him and is sane. Fabulous! I'm happy as happy can be for him because he deserves to be in a great relationship. And just to hear that he's loved is great to know. At least he's out there enjoying his life. I'm satisfied.
Of course, there is that very tiny small insignificant part of me that is very painfully sad. Why? Who knows why. Because I love him? Yeah sure. I do love him but I always new that on the most basic level we were not meant for each other. He was just to good for me in my mind and I still to this day don't know what he saw in me. Do I still think about him? Yeah I do. I just can't place my finger on why I feel so much for someone that I know loved me on some level but would never put down his guard to let anyone in. I dunno, maybe I did make to much of things. I made him out to be bigger than what he was...(pause) I put him sooo high on a pedastal, I could never reach him.
WHY THE FUCK AM I SAD ABOUT THIS? We went out for all of a month and talked on and off for 2 years, barely. I truely was and am happy for Benji and Ryan when they moved on. Why can't I JUST be happy for him. I really am very upset to where I'm doing my damn best not to cry at work about this. Trying to not let this little tiny insignificant part of me that is pained overwhelm me. Why does it affect me when it didn't affect me for them. (It did a little for Ryan but for other reasons)
I just don't know...For now, I'm going to go crawl in a ball in the corner and listen to my sad music. WHY? Maybe I'll figure it out. Until then...adieu and just in case you're wondering, I'll be okay, so don't worry about me.
Thank god it's over!
Click here to view Mah profile on my space...You should join and add me as a friend!
I absolutely love myspace.com. It rawks my sox and it's soo convientent. It's free and you can add all the friends you like. You can make network of friends grow. You have your own journal. You can meet new cool ash people, and you can post bulletins that will be seen by all your friends so you don't have to write them all individually. You can keep in touch with all your pow-wow buddies/snaggs at once and you can me new ones...(muahahahaha) It's basically like friendster but I believe it's alot cooler. Friendster seems uptight to me. Anyways, join and add me my email is joigazm@yahoo.com. If you would like an invite email me your email or put it in the comments or sumthing...thanks, and now on to other news....
I'll be happy if I never see another turkey for 365 days. ha ha ha. Man...I was soooooo stuffed yesterday. I went to my friend Kina's yesterday and her mom cooked the bombest meal I've ever seen. It looked like it was catered it was soo nice. If anything I'm Thankful for that. I ate soo much and kept trying to eat but I just couldn't do it. We watched a movie to help digestion but it I still felt like a bloated tick.
Afterward we went in search of a few drinks and finally decided to go to Alchemy @ Nation. It was kinda awkward at first but cause it was Goth night but as soon as we got in I was mesmirized. I had such a kick ass time and I love the music. The people were great too. I think I'll drag my friend Ryan there next week when he gets here. He love that shyt. Kina and Roach like it too. We'll just have to "dress up" next time. Oh I'm so goth...ha ha ha ha Black Rox!
Peace, Love, Understanding and Respect,
Spring
I absolutely love myspace.com. It rawks my sox and it's soo convientent. It's free and you can add all the friends you like. You can make network of friends grow. You have your own journal. You can meet new cool ash people, and you can post bulletins that will be seen by all your friends so you don't have to write them all individually. You can keep in touch with all your pow-wow buddies/snaggs at once and you can me new ones...(muahahahaha) It's basically like friendster but I believe it's alot cooler. Friendster seems uptight to me. Anyways, join and add me my email is joigazm@yahoo.com. If you would like an invite email me your email or put it in the comments or sumthing...thanks, and now on to other news....
I'll be happy if I never see another turkey for 365 days. ha ha ha. Man...I was soooooo stuffed yesterday. I went to my friend Kina's yesterday and her mom cooked the bombest meal I've ever seen. It looked like it was catered it was soo nice. If anything I'm Thankful for that. I ate soo much and kept trying to eat but I just couldn't do it. We watched a movie to help digestion but it I still felt like a bloated tick.
Afterward we went in search of a few drinks and finally decided to go to Alchemy @ Nation. It was kinda awkward at first but cause it was Goth night but as soon as we got in I was mesmirized. I had such a kick ass time and I love the music. The people were great too. I think I'll drag my friend Ryan there next week when he gets here. He love that shyt. Kina and Roach like it too. We'll just have to "dress up" next time. Oh I'm so goth...ha ha ha ha Black Rox!
Peace, Love, Understanding and Respect,
Spring
Tuesday, November 25
My Services
Click for muzak 4 your pagina
Hey y'all it's been a couple weeks since I've written anything substantianal on this hurr. And I apologize to the millionz of fans. I promise to write tomorrow!
Hey y'all it's been a couple weeks since I've written anything substantianal on this hurr. And I apologize to the millionz of fans. I promise to write tomorrow!
Tuesday, November 18
French Phrases.
How to be Obnoxious in French
Ah ha. In my quest to make a last ditch effort to speak a little French. (Well maybe not the last) I stumbled upon this little page of useful French for my upcomming trip to ghey parriee. This page is hillarious. It's not what I was looking for when I googled it but it's definately amusing. I just might use some. I think my favorite is...
"Do you have any French in you? Would you like some?"
"Vous avez des origines fran?aises? Pourquoi pas une descendance fran?aise?"
(voo za - vay deh zo - ri - zhin fran - say? poor kwu pah deh - sen - dans fran - say?)
Fun-nay! Anyhow. That is all. Carry on. And if you happen to find some real useful French email it to me. S'il vous plais. Merci!
Ah ha. In my quest to make a last ditch effort to speak a little French. (Well maybe not the last) I stumbled upon this little page of useful French for my upcomming trip to ghey parriee. This page is hillarious. It's not what I was looking for when I googled it but it's definately amusing. I just might use some. I think my favorite is...
"Do you have any French in you? Would you like some?"
"Vous avez des origines fran?aises? Pourquoi pas une descendance fran?aise?"
(voo za - vay deh zo - ri - zhin fran - say? poor kwu pah deh - sen - dans fran - say?)
Fun-nay! Anyhow. That is all. Carry on. And if you happen to find some real useful French email it to me. S'il vous plais. Merci!
Friday, November 14
WTF
Click for Walama Love!
My random act of weirdness today. WTF is a Walama. I don't know. It's weird scary krazy cute....who the fuck knows.
My random act of weirdness today. WTF is a Walama. I don't know. It's weird scary krazy cute....who the fuck knows.
Thursday, November 13
OMG - Too Funny!
Click here because Black People Love Us!
This syte is too freakin funny. If I had the time I would do one called "I'm native too". Cooorazy! I'm not racist. I have white friends! ha ha ha ha.
This syte is too freakin funny. If I had the time I would do one called "I'm native too". Cooorazy! I'm not racist. I have white friends! ha ha ha ha.
Wednesday, November 12
For the 80's Babies. Test your knowledge...
I got a 46. I must brush up. I felt dumb because I knew some of the lyrics I didn't get. It was bummie. Anyways, have fun with it!
I had a bummie day off yesterday. It was just kind of a depressing day. Seeing my nephew always lifts my spirits. He always has something witty and/or offbeat to say. Four year olds....gotta luv'em. As for now I'm just waiting for the days to go by faster. My gurl Roach is moving up here with me soon. She'll be here next week. FINALLY! She's a really good friend and I am blessed to have her in my life. She's really giving and knows how to have fun. Maybe she'll drop by here sometime. Other than that it's just waiting for Gay Pair-ree. I can't wait. I'm cleaning my room so I can start packing. I wanna look good in paris. It's a must! As for everything else in my life. I miss my friend Stephanie, I wish I had a pet, I found my Frankie J cd today (kew), and I'm hungry. Maybe I'll write more later. Peash out.
Monday, November 10
Vote for the Navajo girl!
http://www.msnbc.com/modules/tvnews/tdy_superstar/vote.asp#survey
She's very talented. And it's good karma to support your Native peoplez. Take care for now.
She's very talented. And it's good karma to support your Native peoplez. Take care for now.
Friday, November 7
Matrix was bad ash!
The Hunger Site : Click here to give Food for Free to Hungry People in the World
Anyways, the Matrix was teh badness! I absolutely loved it. I so happy it didn't suck. It's definately a must see and if it's been a while since you seen Reloaded then definately watch it before you go. I loved everything about it. Granted there were a few KoRny parts but all in all I am satisfied. It's kinda one of those things where you love it or hate it. No real in between. But definately make it to see this flick.
Yesterday I had the pleasure of volunteering for the IHS Director's Awards. I got to meet the Surgeon General ....brb
Anyways, the Matrix was teh badness! I absolutely loved it. I so happy it didn't suck. It's definately a must see and if it's been a while since you seen Reloaded then definately watch it before you go. I loved everything about it. Granted there were a few KoRny parts but all in all I am satisfied. It's kinda one of those things where you love it or hate it. No real in between. But definately make it to see this flick.
Yesterday I had the pleasure of volunteering for the IHS Director's Awards. I got to meet the Surgeon General ....brb
Wednesday, November 5
Tha Matrix....
Matrix Review (washingtonpost.com)
Man, I was so excited to go see the Matrix today. I have my tickets and everything. Then Benji tells me to read the reviews. The reviews say it sucks. He's been saying things like that since I bought the tickets and he's the one that wanted me to buy them! He's been like "Oh they say it sucks..." Oh this and oh that. Jackass. If you don't want to see it anymore then just say so. I'll give the ticket to someone else. It's whatever, mang. I don't care if it isn't that great. I'm going to party on like it is. HA! To get all into it I even watched the Matix Reloaded last night. I've seen AniMatrix and I've played Enter the Matrix a little. I'm not obsessed or anything I just think it's fun. Anyways, I got in late today so I get to be here til 6:00. Hooray! It's okay though were going strait to the Feeahter (As Tris would say) from here. The movie starts and 7:20. And I can't wait....buy for now.
Man, I was so excited to go see the Matrix today. I have my tickets and everything. Then Benji tells me to read the reviews. The reviews say it sucks. He's been saying things like that since I bought the tickets and he's the one that wanted me to buy them! He's been like "Oh they say it sucks..." Oh this and oh that. Jackass. If you don't want to see it anymore then just say so. I'll give the ticket to someone else. It's whatever, mang. I don't care if it isn't that great. I'm going to party on like it is. HA! To get all into it I even watched the Matix Reloaded last night. I've seen AniMatrix and I've played Enter the Matrix a little. I'm not obsessed or anything I just think it's fun. Anyways, I got in late today so I get to be here til 6:00. Hooray! It's okay though were going strait to the Feeahter (As Tris would say) from here. The movie starts and 7:20. And I can't wait....buy for now.
Tuesday, November 4
My New favorite space.
Myspace.com
Check this out, sign up and add me to your friendsters. It's groovey.
Wanna know something about me? Here:
1. What is the first person you ever slept with's middle name?
Randall
2. What kind of underwear are you wearing and what color?
*Does a quick check* Dark Blue Target Clearance bloomers.
3. What is the song you want played at your Funeral?
I will love you - Fisher
4. What is the phone number of your sluttiest friend so some of the single people can get some?
Stephanie - hahahahaha it's (208) 234-1234. Luff ya, Stef!
5. What Would Your Last Meal be before getting executed?
Mama's Indian Taco's. It's the bizzomb.
6. Beatles or Stones?
Neither they both taste bad...
7. If you had to pick one person on earth who should die, who would it be?
George Bush. There is no good reason for his nonsense.
8. The person whose problems you would never want to hear?
Ron Jeremy....You're a fat porn star who gets it on the reg....Don't want to hear it!
9. What is the thing most important to you (as far as physical) about the preferred sex?
Beautiful eyes.
10. DO YOU secretly hate some of your friendsters but are too nice to reject them?
Not really I just got here.
11. If you could have any super power what would it be?
I wanna Fly. I could visit my family all time time and travel the world.
12. FAVORITE hangover cure?
Bloody Mary and morning secks.
13. How many drinks does it take to get you drunk?
I can drink beer til 5 then it's crazy spring time.
14. FAVORITE Outkast Lyric?
Ain't nobody dope as me...I'm just so fresh
So fresh and so clean, clean
I know you think I'm so sexy...I'm just so fresh
so fresh and so clean, clean...
15. HAIR COLOR you most like someone you're dating to have?
Black or Dark Brown.
16. If you had to be blind or deaf?
Blind. Music is so much better and I couldn't live without.
17. DO YOU have any psychiatric problems?
I hope so!
18. SIBLINGS that should go to rehab?
Pee-try. And my brother-in-law...hahahaha J/K
19. Least FAVORITE MONTH?
January....it goes by too fast.
20. FAVORITE hateful thing to do to someone?
Fine then....You're not my friend ever!
21. First movie you can remember seeing as a kid?
ET
22. FAVORITE person in the whole world?
My Numi
23. When's the last time you went on a date?
A real date....In July
24. DO YOU LIKE violent movies or dirty movies?
It's the dirty, dirty...
25. FALL OR SPRING?
I'm partial to Spring for obvious reasons but I love Fall.
26. Person you most wish you hadn't made out with?
Um...that one guy...from that one pow-wow....yeah....
27. If you are straight, what person of the same sex would you do it with?
Selma Hayek. Muy Caliente!
28. Where do you want to live when you are old and brittle?
Idaho/Georgia/Florida. Somewhere my ancestors came from.
29. WHO is the person you can count on most?
My Father. He's stable and trustworthy.
30. If you could date any celebrity past or present, time and age or not factors?
Frank Sinatra in his good ole days. Sing to me Frankie!
31. WHAT BOOKS have you pretended you've read?
Les Miserables....I just never finished it. :(
32. WHAT'S a word you would use to describe your life?
Blessed.
33. FAVORITE drinking GAME?
Drunk Driver.
34. WHAT DID YOU DREAM LAST NIGHT?
My ex-boyfriend Phil and I were back together. God only knows why. Sheesh.
35. FAVORITE vices?
internet, music (all kinds), ex-boyfriends (I'm a better friend than lover I suppose, hahaha), dancing in clubs, Paris!
36. What is the last thing you'd ever tell someone?
hmmmm.....I guess you'll never know.
That's all for today folks. Catch u on the flip.
Check this out, sign up and add me to your friendsters. It's groovey.
Wanna know something about me? Here:
1. What is the first person you ever slept with's middle name?
Randall
2. What kind of underwear are you wearing and what color?
*Does a quick check* Dark Blue Target Clearance bloomers.
3. What is the song you want played at your Funeral?
I will love you - Fisher
4. What is the phone number of your sluttiest friend so some of the single people can get some?
Stephanie - hahahahaha it's (208) 234-1234. Luff ya, Stef!
5. What Would Your Last Meal be before getting executed?
Mama's Indian Taco's. It's the bizzomb.
6. Beatles or Stones?
Neither they both taste bad...
7. If you had to pick one person on earth who should die, who would it be?
George Bush. There is no good reason for his nonsense.
8. The person whose problems you would never want to hear?
Ron Jeremy....You're a fat porn star who gets it on the reg....Don't want to hear it!
9. What is the thing most important to you (as far as physical) about the preferred sex?
Beautiful eyes.
10. DO YOU secretly hate some of your friendsters but are too nice to reject them?
Not really I just got here.
11. If you could have any super power what would it be?
I wanna Fly. I could visit my family all time time and travel the world.
12. FAVORITE hangover cure?
Bloody Mary and morning secks.
13. How many drinks does it take to get you drunk?
I can drink beer til 5 then it's crazy spring time.
14. FAVORITE Outkast Lyric?
Ain't nobody dope as me...I'm just so fresh
So fresh and so clean, clean
I know you think I'm so sexy...I'm just so fresh
so fresh and so clean, clean...
15. HAIR COLOR you most like someone you're dating to have?
Black or Dark Brown.
16. If you had to be blind or deaf?
Blind. Music is so much better and I couldn't live without.
17. DO YOU have any psychiatric problems?
I hope so!
18. SIBLINGS that should go to rehab?
Pee-try. And my brother-in-law...hahahaha J/K
19. Least FAVORITE MONTH?
January....it goes by too fast.
20. FAVORITE hateful thing to do to someone?
Fine then....You're not my friend ever!
21. First movie you can remember seeing as a kid?
ET
22. FAVORITE person in the whole world?
My Numi
23. When's the last time you went on a date?
A real date....In July
24. DO YOU LIKE violent movies or dirty movies?
It's the dirty, dirty...
25. FALL OR SPRING?
I'm partial to Spring for obvious reasons but I love Fall.
26. Person you most wish you hadn't made out with?
Um...that one guy...from that one pow-wow....yeah....
27. If you are straight, what person of the same sex would you do it with?
Selma Hayek. Muy Caliente!
28. Where do you want to live when you are old and brittle?
Idaho/Georgia/Florida. Somewhere my ancestors came from.
29. WHO is the person you can count on most?
My Father. He's stable and trustworthy.
30. If you could date any celebrity past or present, time and age or not factors?
Frank Sinatra in his good ole days. Sing to me Frankie!
31. WHAT BOOKS have you pretended you've read?
Les Miserables....I just never finished it. :(
32. WHAT'S a word you would use to describe your life?
Blessed.
33. FAVORITE drinking GAME?
Drunk Driver.
34. WHAT DID YOU DREAM LAST NIGHT?
My ex-boyfriend Phil and I were back together. God only knows why. Sheesh.
35. FAVORITE vices?
internet, music (all kinds), ex-boyfriends (I'm a better friend than lover I suppose, hahaha), dancing in clubs, Paris!
36. What is the last thing you'd ever tell someone?
hmmmm.....I guess you'll never know.
That's all for today folks. Catch u on the flip.
Monday, November 3
New News
Well, this weekend was and good one I believe. Friday I got to hang out with some cool people and had a blast laughing all night long. Saturday I watched TV by my lonesome which was good and Sunday I took my nephew to see Brother Bear. It was good because I'm into the inspirational/touching stuff but not so much for kids. One too many killings that needed to be explained. I loved it though. I just bought my tickets to see Matrix on Wednesday And I intend to have a blast. I usually an all about movie openings, especially when they're kewl. (I.E. Star Wars/LOTR/Matrix) It's all good. I barely missed out on the once in a lifetime chance to watch the LOTR Trilogy on Dec 15th. They are going to show all three in once day, the day before Return of the king comes out. OH well C'est la vie. I still got my ticket to see Return of the King that Wednesday and I would've had to take the day off to see it. I gotta be gettin now. So I'll catch you katz on the flip side. Laters.
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