Tuesday, May 3

Call it paranoia...

Shit is going to hit the fan today. I have this amazing dreadful feeling in my stomach. Call it intuition. Call it paranoia. Things have been going so well with my significant other that it isn't bound to last for long. That and I had the shittiest scary dream last night. A dream that makes no sense but still managed to scare the fuck out of me.

So me and a friend of mine decide to crash at my grandparents house of all places (located in bumfuck oklahoma) and when we get there this is this very strange man dressed in a dark black trench coat and he had no face. Just a grey blur...and he was drunk. So my grandma told him to sleep in on the other side of the house. Just being around him in my dream gave me a creepy feeling.(*side note the last time I felt like that is when these spirits were bothering me when I was 5) So I walk him to his room to make sure he goes in there and then I try to find a room on the opposite side of the house close to my grandparents room but for some reason all the rooms are taken. So we end up having to sleep in the living room. My friend wants to sleep in another room close to the guy cause there is one free but I flat out refuse but at the same time I don't wanna be left alone by any circumstances cause I'm deathly afraid of the dark. Then all of a sudden my dead best friend's (still living I presume but not sure) dad comes to me in my dream. He starts performing a medicine ceremony for me. Smoking me with sweet grass and sage and praying for me. This manages to calm me down and then he rubs salt water on the back of my hand with a green cloth. Salt water with sage oil. He continues to massage the back of my hand and pray for me and I become amazingly calm. Then a co-worker of my mine from work whom I have no real contact with comes and sits next to me on the couch I'm sitting on. She doesn't say anything but she has this potted plant sittin on her lap for some reason I'm compelled to just touch. Not the plant itself but the soil. I rest my hand there. The next thing I know I get up and i'm in the kitchen with my sister Kelli who is very pissed off that my little brother Michael is drunk. I manage to dodge him cause I don't want to deal with him and he whines to Kelli he only had a little rum to drink with his coke...she's hella fucking pissed and in the process of telling me this...the door to the garage that's next to me slightly opens. I was like What the fuck...a draft...then when I try to close it I find it won't close. I try to push it back and then I realize someone is trying to push it back open. I then jerk it all the way open and I see this man standing in front of me he's slightly balding with brownish hair and eh's wearing a suit. I know that doesn't sound meanacing but his eyes...just something about his eyes woke me straight out of my sleep crying.

I didn't even wanna open my eyes when I was awake for fear I might see something I wasn't prepared to see. (i.e. spirits, lights, or energy...Its been happening often around me lately...I've chosen to ignore most of it for the most part)I was so scared that even the comfort of knowing my best friend was mere feet away didn't comfort me. I laid there for like ten minutes and prayed that Leslie by some miricle call me. I finally had to wake my friend Ben up like a little damn kid and tell him I had a bad dream. He sat with me til I went to sleep. That was no fun. A shit and a half really. I had a better dream right after that. I saved a girl from committing suicide by getting her to appricate herself and all of Maheo (god/Grandfather/Great mystery or whathaveyou) creations, the colous, the tranquility...

It's all something. And I still have this bad feeling. It could be that its still just reverberating from the dream...but...yeah...something.

No comments: