Awaken

This is the first spoken word poem that I'm working on.  It doesn't have as much feeling as I want to put into it...yet....but It will eventually.  I'm going to work on it a little more til I finally get the courage to actually do it in front of an audience.  Grrr...Challenege.  I love it.

"Its interesting what you can say in front of a room full of people that you can't seem to say to one person..." - Nina Mosely, Love Jones

Awakened this morning, I outstretched my arms

And reached out as far as I could as I could go across my bed.

Finding nothing

I opened my eyes, smiled and realized

That that time had not been so long ago.

The distinct scent of your face wash still lingers on my pillow.

And that simple olfaction aroused my thoughts more than I would have liked.

My favorite memory of us began fading in through my forethoughts.

And I involuntarily smiled as I remembered waking

To the taste of you still in my mouth.

I smiled as I began to feel the warmth of your naked body against my back.

Then I sighed

As I began feeling the rushing memory of being afraid all over again.

My initial reaction was to run and hide

Cause you, my love,

Were never to have been let in.

Had not fate itself willed it so

And heartily fought through the barriers of our enormous egos.

You never would have been there ever.

But buy chance and laughs, and pure imagination...

I was there...

And you were there...

And for one uncorrupted moment...

We were love.

I can still vividly remember how intoxicating it was

Just to breathe in the infection that was your soul.

At once, it seemed that the dream could be never ending

At the time, I could have completely drowned in it and lost myself.

It was right then I decided I never wanted to swim in another ocean again.

To my surprise, my wandering eyes were finally shut

My restless protected heart was wide open.

The fear of vulnerability began resounding through my chest

And it made my red blood pump that much harder
 
that much faster and faster

Throughout my stubborn, nescient veins.

Somehow at the precise moment you put your powerful arm around my waist.

And I instinctively nestled my head in the space god must have intended only for me,

We began to be finally fully aware of ourselves

And fully aware of what we had both done.

The serenity began to wash over my restrained ego.

And I had felt safer than any home I had ever known before.

Then just as quickly it seemed

I was mindful of the morning sun

Brought back to the reality of my solitary state.

I lay here and stare at the cruel sunlight kissing my pillow.

Sweetly kissing the space where no so long ago your smile had been.

Where that perfect smile should be now.

Had fate been kind to us both.

Amos Lee sings "When she wakes me...she takes me back home..."

And my heart begins to wonder that even if it’s not with you

Will I ever find that kind of peace again?

The salt water then pooling

and ever so gently, quietly letting go

I closed my wandering eyes once more and drifted off to better times...