My life, my life, my life...in the sunshine! LOL

There truly is no place to start.

I'm a mother. 

I'm someone's food source, guidance, love, support, teacher, student, and best friend for the rest of their lives.

I'm someone's mother.

Tonite at 12:29 AM she will officially be 2 weeks old.  That two weeks has sped by so fast that I can hardly think of all the memories created in that short span of time.

My daughter, Keya Rilee Anson has completely changed my life for the better.  She's humbled me.  She's softened me.  She's made me a more patient and loving person. 

Keya's ACTUAL birth was a piece of cake.  The epidual kicked in immediately and after that I couldn't feel the contractions that were off the scale anymore.  I went through 2 days of CRAZY pain because my cervix would NOT dialte more than 1 cm.  I went to the hospital twice and even though the contractions were crazy painful (I could compare them to other moms to be in the hospital and theirs were NO WHERE NEAR what mine were.  Not trying to brag but you can ask my sister.)  And what made it worse is nothing could be done til I dialated to a 3 AT least. 

I guess it was all heighted due to the fact that my little one was already late, she decided she wanted to be a taurus, my grandma/namesake made the journey back to the creator, and dealing with Army issues and Jared and just trying to keep focused so I didn't kirk out.  That was all just the week Keh was late. 

So compared to THAT.  Keh's actual birth...the whole hour it took to really push her out...was a piece of cake.  I will even go as far to say the contractions/urge to push...whilst they appeared painful...where actually incredibly enjoyable.  Yes, Miss Neta...Orgasmic birth is possible...with working epidural. LOL.

The only really annoying part about it was people telling me to push harder.  Um...yeah...I PUSHED HARD AS POSSIBLE EVERYTIME.  Weirdos.

Another great part was Jared.  For someone who "Didn't no nuthin bout birthin no babies", he was the perfect coach.  My love held my hand and gave me positive and loving reinforcement every step of the way.  He showed up and was at his best and with him in one hand and my best friend/sister in the other...We welcomed keya to a world surrounded by love.  Her first breath was witnessed by those who love her the most.  And yes, her daddy did cut the cord.  LOL He did it like a champ. LOL.

Speaking of which...I truly believe that Keya waited for her dad to be there.  Within an hour of him showing up...he had time to mingle with our friends that sat in the waiting room for our miracle to appear and then time to go to work helping mommy.  My little turtle is every intuative and is a great manifester.  She'll never do what she doesn't want to do...stubborn taurus...but if you explain things to her...she'll do what is asked of her.  I can go into detail later but that's like a whole blog in itself. 

So it is...Keya Rilee Anson made her appearance in the world two weeks ago tonite.  She was 7 lbs 14 oz and when RE-measured...she was 21 inches long. It was funny to me because when they took her to be cleaned I was like (to jared) baby our daughter needs you.  He kissed me on the forehead and talked her through what was going on.  My sister took pics...and I got to think...and pray.  I just thanked the creator for that first breath.  I thanked him for a great birth.  And I just was thankful to him...and my grandmother for keeping us all safe that night. 

Right after Keya was born, my sister and my father had to dash home to get ready to go back to Oklahoma for the funeral.  They puposely held it back so that Kelli and my dad (who didn't want to miss his latest grandchild's birth) could be at Keya's first day.  My dad and Kelli were on a plane hours later.  Jared drove my dad home and I got to spend a few moments alone with Keya.  It was like a perfect dream.  She has my nose.  She has daddy's hands and feet. LOL.  She's the most beautiful thing I've ever seen.  And even though its STILL sinking in that I'm actually someone's mom...thinking about life without her ever is unfathomable. She's our little slice of heaven.  I can't wait for y'all to meet her.

And I especially can't wait for Keya to meet her bffs...Aiyana and Maya.  (Why does that somehow sound ghey?) Ya ya ya.  LOL

Brand New Dey.

One day its here...next day its gone. Well I suppose I'll enjoy it for now. Lately at work when I have nothing to preoccupy myself, I've been hanging around CurvyChick.com. Its not bad. Its like myspace for the plus-size diva. The good thing about it is I only have to be myself around them...the bad thing about it is some of the ladies are a little too big for their britches...metaphorically speaking of course. I'm sure that's just women in general but some women just tick me off with their self-loathing and bitching about things that are trivial. I know I bitch about things that in the grand scheme are trival but these guys...idk. I dunno. I need to stop being so judgmental. I've made a friend or two. So I guess I'll shut up about it for now.

What else...My brain is off as usual. I'll write more laters. ;)

Hey again...

I guess they decided to give us a reprieve on blogger at work. Too bad I'm tapped out intellectually. I'm tired. Pooped. Drained. But I'll get over it. I need more sleep. Depression=Insominia=Zombie=more depression. But hey! At least I got my flu shot today! :)

Gheeeey.

Bane started work today and as excited as I should be...I'm holding my breath. Its finally a steady job. A steady pay check. No more of this I might lose my job tomorrow bullshit. Its steady work and steady pay at a very decent wage. Plus, he'll finally have health benefits. FINALLY. I'm happy. But like I said...I'm still holding my breath. I shouldn't...but things with that boy have always been volatile.....blah blah blah...sore subject. I love him and his love for me is unparallel. His in ability to be responsible for himself as well as others irks the shit out of me. Its not that he's not caring...its that he was taught to look out only for yourself. Which doesn't fall in line with the code of family first...

Blah blah...I'll stop. He's trying...he's finally got a steady job. Things will be gianormously better. The have to be. Now if i can only get my life in order...I'll be set for life. Something.

Romantical

So last week I sent a bulletin out regarding the beginning of my romantical night with Bane.  Dude, I almost cried when I opened the door but I ended up giggling like the hottest guy in high school said hi to me.  That boy is amazing x a million.  Posted up against the wall with a tight white t-shirt tucked into some very fit jeans...his thumbs tucked just under a big shiny belt buckle...he smiled up at me with his head cocked to the side and looked from under his staw cowboy hat.  Jesse Katsopolis saying "Have mercy" sprang to mind as I turned to shut and lock the door.  Gawd, I couldn't stop giggling like a school girl.  I don't think anyone has ever affected me the way he does in that outfit. 

He then with gentle force he grabbed me by the waist and gave me an open mouth kiss to die for...literally...to die for...because I melted right then and there.  I felt like I had died and gone to heaven for sure when the smell of his new cologne registered in my nasal passages.  That new scent is BEAST! (C.O. Bigelow Barber/Elixer Red for you fellas looking for a new scent...its a panty dropper for sho)  Oh man, oh man, oh man...if that was all he did for me that night it would've been more than enough...but he didn't stop there.  He lead me to our bathroom that was lit with candles only.  My bathtub was filled with this new Bath and Body works bubble bath and rose petals.  He told me to relax and play the CD he made for me while he finished dinner.  *grin*  I relaxed in my still very hot tub and pushed play.  I relaxed the the sounds of John Coltrane's "In a Sentimental mood."

Fabulous!

When I was done my medium-well steak was already set out for me along with a plate full of spagetti (Tres romantical! lol).  I saw this fully bloomed and absolutely gorgeous rose and surprises right next to me as I ate.  Dinner was delicious. He apologized for the whole steak and spagetti mix...but I assured him it was perfect because he knew they were of my favorites.  He let me open my presents after dinner...(two pieces of adorable clothing he thought I would like) and then we settled in and watched my favoritest movie of all time...

The Godfather.

lol...I know it sounds funny...but for all the effort and work and thought he put into it...it was enough to make me well up with pride, gratitude and tears because its the little things that make being with him worth it.  Coltrane...ONE rose...and steak...he's amazing...and he lets me know that even though it doesn't seem like it sometimes...he listens...he knows the little things that matter to me.  Bane has been the absolute best thing that's ever happened to me...and I couldn't ask for anything more.

And that was my romantical night...such is such.