And your heart will be at peace...

I just got a phone call from the missing brother in New Orleans. And as predicted...he's is alive...he is okay. We talked for an hour about his many advantures of fighting off looters, rescuing 2 girls that were trying to drive during the worst part of the storm, and the great ready to eat meals.

My brother has the best attitude. The converstation wasn't sad or drab. It was more upbeat than anything and for that I am thankful. He's just happy to be alive. He told me about the people he comes across that are sadden by the devistation...which they have every right to be...but he takes the time to share with them the joys of just being alive. You're home is missing but your family is here...home is where the heart is...and as long as you're alive...Everything is better than okay.

He's a nut but I love him. And I am doubly thankful to Maheo for him being able to call and get through. Prayers for the ones that can't see the light in the darkness of this their situation. And share in the joy for the ones that do.

Another wonderful nite with my gay lover Martin

Just a tad sensitive right now...

I'm tired...I've had 3 hours of sleep total....I can't sleep now cause my body hates the shit out me...perhaps literally...I'm not in the mood for other people's attitude so I'll just stick with my own today...thanx...

Now that I've alerted the media...on to deeper note...

I finally broke down and cried yesterday and I've been trying not to cry all fucking day....

See...My roomate loves to leave CNN on in the morning when he leaves for work.  Usually I leave my apt before then so when I come back...CNN is still on.  Now...I'm not totally oblivious to the fact that there is a great big chaotic tragety happening in the South.  Of course not...my brother lives in New Orleans.  But I think with anything and everything...out of site out of mind you know.  I know my brother is okay...I know my brother is going to be okay...even though I nor anyone has heard from him at all.  My brother is a resourceful person and he's a leader when he needs to be.  My brother is okay....I know this.   But yesterday...when I walked in to my apt...I had full coverage of scenes in New Orleans straight in front of my face.  Babies crying, death toll rising, people starving, people angry with every right to be...

Me...I have no right to complain about my life right now because somewhere in New Orleans...my brother may be watching a mother watching her children starve...My brother may be trapt inside a house alone with no food or water to drink.  My brother could quite possibly be doing everything he can to help people that can't help themselves right now and being a hero.  My brother could be praying harder than he's ever prayed in his life for me in hopes that I & my sister don't let our lives go to waste...

And a hard and simple truth of the matter is...my brother could quite possibly be dead right now.   

So as of now...I really don't have a right to do nothing with my life.  I can sit here and cry about it some more...cause yeah...it does make me sad to think about him being there...but right now...I choose to use this day to honor my brother...honor him by honoring myself...by not taking this day for granted...by enjoying what I do have which is my family, my friends, and people who love me...by going out and thanking Maheo for letting me borrow yet another day in this world...I choose to honor my brother today...and pray that whatever he is doing...wherever he may be right now...he can feel my light and that of all those that love him and are thinking of him now...

I miss you Ivan...I love you and I have faith you will make yourself known soon...
 






My prayers go out to everyone in the world today...The Middle East as well as the people affected by the Hurricane.  May Maheo give you peace.

Little brother's...

Aren't they the greatest?